BK Top 5: The best things to do tonight, from destroying the Empire to going to study hall

As that famous Irish band Bono and the Bono Bono Boys once sang, “It’s a beautiful dayyyyyy/don’t let it get awayyyyy/maybe check something out on the Brokelyn Events Calendarrrrrr.” Who am I, who are you, to argue with the world’s most beloved Irish crooner and his hit songs about the weather and how to enjoy it, especially on a nice day like this? So check out these picks, which are the best of the batch, and then put on your short pants and your sundresses and go have some fun tonight.

A CARTOON MONSOON CHRISTMAS
It’s the season for joy and nostalgia and all that, and it just so happens Brooklyn has the perfect event to fit the season. Comedians Joe Rumril and Mary Houlihan and Joe Rumril have put together a Christmas special that promises to evokes shows like Pee-Wee’s Playhouse and Lamb Chop’s Play Along. There’ll be puppets, there’ll be animation, there’ll be costumes characters, but because this is also a comedy show for adults from a couple of the weirder comedians in Brooklyn, it probably won’t be all sweet and innocent. Then again, Andy Kaufman’s TV show had moments of sweetness, so who knows.
8pm, Union Hall, 702 Union Street, Park Slope, $8

LADY PARTS JUSTICE JOINS THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS: A COMEDY BENEFIT
Or maybe you feel more like seeing some comedy but also standing up for a cause you believe in. It’s always the season for that. So tonight, join host Lizz Winstead and comics like Frank Conniff, Alex English and Rae Sanni as they roast some of the biggest clowns of 2015 who devoted their time to standing in the way of women’s rights and equality. Also, there’ll be cookies and crafts!
7pm, Brooklyn Music School, 126 Saint Felix Street, Fort Greene, $25

STAR WARS EPISODE VI: RETURN OF THE JEDI AND DRINKING GAME
Well, we made it here, it’s the week of Star Wars: The Force Awakens. If you didn’t hit this weekend’s Star Wars marathon and you want a refresher in the galaxy far, far away (or you did attend and you just need another fix), hit up Halyards for a non-Special Edition edit. Also, to make it even better, a drinking game with rules like “Drink when a speeder blows up on Endor” and “Finish your beer when you hear the line ‘It’s a trap!'” will be in effect.
8pm, Halyards, 406 3rd Avenue, Gowanus, FREE

STUDY HALL PRESENTS: “CELEBRATIONS! A READING AND HOLIDAY PARTY”
The Brokelyn No Office Part is only days away, and maybe your office party is coming up soon. Or even worse, it already happened and you’re reputation is ruined forever after you got drunk, tried to kiss your boss, tried to kiss your boss’ husband and then puked everywhere. Hear some people like Maxim senior editor Gabriella Paiella, gentrification journalist Peter Moskowitz and other read about both the good and regrettable celebratory moments in their lives.
7pm, 119 Ingraham Street, Bushwick, FREE

SHOW AND TALE: TAILS, PAWS, BEAKS AND CLAWS 
You talk to your friends about the wonderful antics of your cat or dog or iguana to the point where you’re a practiced professional in the realm of animal tales. Take your skills onto the stage today at a pet storytelling event raising money for Badass Animal Rescue. It works pretty simply: you pay to get in, all the money goes towards Badass, you tell a 3-minute story about your pet, listen to other ones, and animals are helped. Everyone wins!
6:30pm, Soda Bar, 629 Vanderbilt Avenue, Prospect Heights, $12.50

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