We know how it is with Craigslist roommate searches. Put up one too many boring ads and the next thing you know, you’ve actually, literally died of boredom and need to be revived by a trained EMT. So you put together something that you think is “fun” and “clever,” about looking for a roommate and an archenemy. But here’s the thing: there are rules in a civilized society, and one of those rules is that you can’t live in an apartment with your archenemy.
Now, in this instance, we’ll forgive this Williamsburg Craigslister with an open room discriminating against the proud class of humans who freelance or work from home. Instead, we’ll focus on the request that the roommate also become the apartment lister’s archenemy. With five seasons under its belt, adult swim’s Venture Brothers is the last word on hero/antagonist relations.
Its Guild of Calamitous Intent sets down the rules on how heroes and villains interact with each other, and we can’t imagine for one second that the Guild would sign off on things as absurd as requests to not bring the party home, or even worse, adhering “to a standard of cleanliness.” This is your archenemy, not some piddling bad roommate you complain to your friends about over drinks. If you hate messes, he’ll leave dishes piled to the ceiling, full of grease and food bits, growing mold and new life on them until you’re driven insane. If you hate snakes, your room will become a snake tanks, teeming with poisonous slithering reptiles shedding their skin EVERYWHERE.
And a demand to pay your rent on time? What archenemy in the history of villainy would do something to make a hero’s life easier? If anything, they’d sneak into your room and look at your checkbook, get your routing and account information and siphon the money out of your account so that you can’t pay rent. Think about it, man! We’ve reached out to Venture Brothers co-creator Jackson Publick to ask for a comment on this flagrant disregard for Guild rules (seriously, we did) and will update you if we hear from him. But remember folks, if you’re going to list a wacky Craigslist ad, just go with the truly crazy, and not something that could get you in actual trouble.