Now that we’ve already figured out how to score the best deals at the Brooklyn’s first Whole Foods in Gowanus, we figured it was time to dig through the store’s more superfluous offerings. We crisscrossed the aisles to find the most embarrassingly nuovo-Brooklyn items that will leave no doubt your shopping cart has been through the trenches of the borough’s modern grocery fare. Behold the most absurd, over-the-top and downright perplexing products we could find in this paradoxically urbanized box store and join the chorus of “why???”
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Vinegar powder:
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An entire wall of local bitters:
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Self-promotional reading material:
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Air-chilled snow water poultry:
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Beet cacao dessert (?)
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Roberta’s frozen pizza:
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Brooklyn gravy (that is also from New Jersey and Italy):
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Locally sourced record jewelry:
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“Slow dried” locally made whole-wheat dinosaur pasta:
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Branded bike beer cooler:
Third and 3rd-branded bike cooler!
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Fermented probiotic coconut water:
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Up-market pigs in blankets:
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Coffee with a whole lotta words on it:
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Scoop-your-own salt:
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ULTIMATE VAGINAL SUPPORT!!
critical than ever.
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Follow Maddie and Rachel as they chronicle the delicious and the ridiculous: @madddesign @rachelevestein
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I don’t need any of that stuff
http://whatyourdonotknowbecauseyouarenotme.blogspot.com/2014/01/i-did-not-buy-anything-and-i-will.html
I want to get me some Kraft Velveeta and Chips Ahoy right now.
Im sorry but if you aren’t concerned about where the dies that cut your slow dried dinosaur pasta shapes are made, you aren’t a responsible consumer.
I expect that secretly you want to buy all of these products. Way to go, entitled Brooklyn hipsters!
Yeah I’m not gonna lie, I would definitely eat that beet ice cream, would probably pay a maximum of $4 for a scoop.
Does anyone ACTUALLY KNOW what Vinegar powder is used for?! Genuinely curious.
honestly it sounds like something you could use if you were making homemade salt and vinegar potato chips.
oh god let’s make homemade salt and vinegar potato chips
There’s a bar in town that uses powdered vinegar on their popcorn – which I believe they offer for FREE… I guess they re-coup there losses by over-charging on their beers?
More like “Brokelyn”
The author(s) of this listicle are ignorant, obtuse, and excruciatingly unfunny. I cringe for you and your progeny who will inherit your unfunniness and lack of being able to “get it.”
I remember when I found my first thesaurus
I was pretty much ok with everything until I saw the “fancy” pigs in a blanket.
I’m not sure why a probiotic product meant for preventing things like yeast infections and bacterial vaginosis is being called “superfluous.” I’m not sure I understand what’s so yuppie about watching after your gynecological health.