No matter how much any reasonable person howls, real estate hustlers are always trying to think of new names for Brooklyn neighborhoods. RAMBO. Parkwanus. And now, because real estate companies are clearly run by people who love portmanteaus a bit too much, comes “Bedwick.” “What’s Bedwick?”, you ask? It’s Bed-Stuy. It’s just that it’s near Bushwick and real estate agents are clearly banking on their clients being complete freaking idiots.
What is Bedwick, aside from life imitating Brokelandia? Well, keeping in mind that it’s a lazily created smashup of words that sounds suspiciously like “bedwet,” Bedwick is supposed to be…the area south of Broadway on the border between Bed-Stuy and Bushwick. Which, if you aren’t addicted to portmanteaus, is popularly known as “Bed-Stuy,” being that it’s south of Broadway.
Curbed noticed the name for the neighborhood in a new listing for luxury apartments that ARE CLEARLY IN BED-STUY, but aren’t being marketed as such because…ugh, who even knows why. In this specific instance, it could be a shell game, so that we roll our eyes about this nonsense instead of noticing that someone is trying to pass off studio apartments in Bed-Stuy for $1650/month. Which, hey, wait a minute. That’s also terrible. We know literacy tests are illegal, but anyone who purports to believe in Bedwick should be stripped of the right to vote.