After the Presidential Debates, we issued a plea for people to step up their joke game on Twitter. You listened. Last night, with the deluge of campaign coverage options, including an apparently shitfaced Diane Sawyer on ABC, Twitter was the most entertaining. Behold, some of our favorite election tweets from Brooklyn funny people.
Whoever has election sex tonight, can you please do it the right way? Call out what percentage of you is in every 5 minutes.
— Eric Silver (@primesilver) November 6, 2012
Peyton Manning invested in Papa John’s in Colorado right before Marijuana is legalized…They don’t call him an anticipator for no reason.
— Christopher Hansen (@ChrisHansenNFL) November 7, 2012
Chris Christie slipping out back door to bring tray of baked ziti to Obama victory party
— Jessi Klein (@jessirklein) November 7, 2012
Aaaaaand Paul Ryan cancels his prescription to color contacts.
— Fran Gillespie (@FranGillespie) November 7, 2012
Well, I think this proves that if you have a billion dollars, you can compete with someone else with a billion dollars and almost win.
— Eugene Mirman (@EugeneMirman) November 7, 2012
Don’t just the Rock the Vote. Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson the vote.
— FrostinRodrigues (@austinnewyork) November 6, 2012
Keep getting Robocalls from the GOP asking if my refrigerator is running
— Anna Drezen (@annadrezen) November 7, 2012
So many angry jowls just shaking in the gentle breeze of democracy…
— maggie serota (@maggieserota) November 7, 2012
The dudes on NBC keeps talking about their “devices” in a creepy way.
— kurt braunohler (@kurtbraunohler) November 7, 2012
— Sara Schaefer (@saraschaefer1) November 7, 2012
The election is so stupid. I’m gonna go get high stoned and listen to Led Zepplen.
— John Wyatt Haskell (@johnwhaskell) November 7, 2012
Voting felt so good that I went up there and did it again. Now I’m in jail. Please help.
— Dan Klein (@danklein_is_fat) November 6, 2012
I voted at 6 am, not to beat the crowds, but because I wanted to treat myself to a 2x2x2 at IHOP for being a good citizen.
— Alex Scordelis (@alexscordelis) November 6, 2012
Paul Ryan just ripped his shirt off and punched a mirror.
— Elaine Carroll (@elainasaurus) November 7, 2012
The real loser is the chef who was going to cater Romney’s victory party. HE SLAVED ALL DAY OVER THAT CAKE!
— Aaron Glaser(@aaron_glaser) November 7, 2012
I don’t even bother trying to hold in farts on the subway #electiondaysecrets
— Katie Notopoulos (@katienotopoulos) November 7, 2012
It’s called the White House for a REASON, people. (Because James Hoban worked in a neoclassical style reliant on painted sandstone.)
— Curtis Retherford (@ActuallyCurtis) November 7, 2012