Where to start with this one, other than to suggest that air sex beats no sex at all? Time Out has a special discount today on tickets to an air sex competition next month, where combatants simulate the nasty for a live audience. Tickets are $8.50 (normally $15).  It’s on June 28 at Drom in Manhattan, and while it’s no dudes’ wet t-shirt contest, this one actually could be worth the outer-borough trek. From the Time Out writeup: 

• What, you’ve never heard of air sex? It’s like air guitar, but instead of rocking out with an imaginary guitar, competitors will be making love to an imaginary partner.
• Competitors choose their music, arrive in whatever sort of wardrobe they like and show everyone how they do it—or at least how they wish they could do it.
• The only rules: No one can get naked, and orgasms have to be simulated. Other than that, participants are free to do whatever it takes to impress you and the judges.

What could be bad, except for the unfortunate use of the term”making love”? Still gives us the jeebs, just like it did during “the talk” with mom and dad. Nobody but Burt Reynolds should say that.