04/17/17 1:21pm
And you, and you, and you, you're gonna love me.

And you, and you, and you, you’re gonna love me.

All the women who independent, throw your hands up at me, unless you’re holding a baby, in which case, please be careful! The final episode of Girls was all about letting go — of relationships, of obligation, of whatever you thought maturity looked like.

While many would argue that last week’s penultimate episode felt much more like a fitting, traditional finale, this week’s three-character play set out to give closure to a few of Girls’ running themes, instead of adding any additional flourishes to individual characters’ storylines. As you may have already read, we’d seen the last of Elijah, Ray, Adam, Jessa and Shosh, leaving us with Marnie, Loreen, Hannah, plus one. (more…)

04/10/17 2:55pm
Looking like a true Khaleesi

Looking like a true Khaleesi

It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday, unless your yesterday is full of narcissistic monster children desperately clinging to squalor and unhealthy relationships like they’re the mark of a life well lived. Saying goodbye is at the heart of last night’s Girls episode, appropriately titled, “Goodbye Tour.”

Hannah’s facing the prospect of bidding adieu to her friends, her “friends,” her apartment, the city, the streets full of human shit, because she has somehow inexplicably been offered an insane sounding job at some anonymous liberal arts school upstate. Turns out, cranking out a few thinkpieces on the internet can not only make you a viral sensation, earn you a book deal, get you paid thousands of dollars by brands being an “influencer,” but it also somehow makes you a fucking academic now? Cool. (more…)

04/03/17 4:02pm
Which aisle is emotional stability?

Which aisle is emotional stability?

Baby, it’s not over ’til it’s over, except maybe even then it’s not really over until you find your pregnant ex in a pile of freeze-pops and spend the day playing parent-to-be until you’re both sobbing over soup in a greasy spoon.

That’s the crux of this week’s episode of Girls (with the on-the-nose title “What Will We Do This Time About Adam?”). The titular actor begins by explaining to Jessa that he has to pursue his true feelings for Hannah and ask her to raise this baby with her. (If we had to sit through his awful movie, we might start questioning a lot of our life choices, too.)

Jessa takes the news that he’ll be offering his paternal services (that sounds gross) to Hannah … well? Or at least it seems. He heads out into the sticky Brooklyn heat to find Hannah battling a busted AC by stuffing her dress full of freeze-pops at the local bodega. He tells her he wants to help raise the baby, and Hannah overcomes her initial shock to accept. (Blame the heatstroke.)

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03/27/17 2:37pm
It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything

It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything

You can’t keep a good man down, but you can keep a bad man from keeping you down. Or at least that seems to be the lesson Hannah, Elijah and Marnie are learning.

After his last performance received rave review (yes, singular) at a high-end retail boutique, Elijah is ready to move on to his next role. This time he’s auditioning for a role in a workshop of White Men Can’t Jump: The Musical. It’s the part he was born to play, as a milk-white gay boy who hasn’t touched a basketball since making skin-to-skin contact with one back in the sixth grade.

The last time he auditioned for anything, it was a commercial announcing the arrival of stuffed crust pizza at Papa John’s. Now he’s got to deal with nerves and a romantic crisis. His ex-boyfriend Dill shows up at his door in the throes of a PR nightmare. Apparently he’s been trying to adopt, but only white babies, and only on the black market. Yikes. (more…)

03/20/17 2:44pm
GIRLS

Jersey strong

The more things change, the more things stay the same, except for Hannah, I guess. Her life is facing a slew of changes, and it seems like she’s not only changing too, but changing for the best.

We begin with a very typical salad dinner for Marnie that Hannah has orchestrated to tell her about her pregnancy. (Literally the only carb Marnie could stand at dinner is Hannah’s bun in the oven.) Shockingly, Marnie takes the news of Hannah’s impending motherhood pretty well. It’s not until they disagree over informing the father that the typical sharp edges of their friendship show through. (more…)

03/13/17 12:37pm
What do you get the mom that has nothing? Weed gummies, obviously.

What do you get the mom that has nothing? Weed gummies, obviously.

Ready or not, here comes mama. Mama’s talkin’ loud, mama’s doin’ fine, except she’s really not doing fine at all. It’s more like Mama’s eating too many weed gummies and vomiting in Chinese restaurants. Let’s see Bernadette Peters try that.

Hannah’s mom Loreen is in town, and she’s in rough shape. These days she’s got a sweet medical marijuana hookup, and spends her lonely days stoned. As she munches on her first gummy worm, Hannah drops the bomb that she’s pregnant. Loreen reacts with a ton of chill, because she realizes Hannah feels like this really is her baby. (more…)

03/06/17 2:06pm
Feud: Season fourteen.

Feud, season fourteen, Hannah and Jessa.

Papa don’t preach, but also Patrick Wilson don’t preach. Just when you thought this week’ episode of Girls, “Painful Evacuation,” was all out of twists and turns, one shocker followed another until we were so overwhelmed we collapsed right into Elijah’s briefs. Hannah’s in trouble deep.

After last week’s stunning “American Bitch,” an episode that I’ve personally witnessed no less than half a dozen conversations about on the streets of Brooklyn since it aired, we’re back in the throes of our core characters’ daily drama. This was an episode HBO withheld from critics/lowly television recappers, which generally means it’s going to be chock full of surprises. Boy howdy, was it. (more…)

02/27/17 1:41pm
Hannah and Chuck Palmer square off.

Hannah and Chuck Palmer square off.

Let’s cut to the chase: Last night’s episode of Girls is not the kind of thing that lends itself to the kinds of flip, jokey recaps we typically produce. In fact, being the one to discuss the episode at all feels slightly icky, as it focuses specifically on the experiences of young women placed in uncomfortable positions where power dynamics complicate consent. (I re-read that last sentence at least six times, and I’m still not sure it properly says what I want it to.) Still, the episode necessitates conversation, and I hope this post creates space in the comments and social media for others to weigh in with their takes. (Plus my editor shot down my earlier attempts of getting out of this.)

Let’s all try our best, OK?

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02/20/17 2:26pm
Heels on wheels.

Heels on wheels.

Two’s company, but three’s a crowd, unless it’s three people going together to Poughkeepsie, in which case you might need that third person to keep your ex-husband from shimmying down the chimney to get his Oxycontin.

Finally, someone is portraying the real millennial Brooklyn. The one that confronts their Oxycontin ex-husband in Poughkeepsie.

Allow me to explain. Marnie and Desi are still being so gross, and they decide to take a road trip to romantic Poughkeepsie for reasons that remain unclear. To help mask the charade, Hannah tags along. While squirreled away in their cabin, Marnie finds Desi’s mason jar full of Oxycontin, because — twist! — he’s been addicted to Oxy this whole time. Marnie, of course, does the entirely wrong thing, smashing his mason jar and stomping on his stash, turning Desi into a full-blown Marky Mark Fear monster, smashing windows and terrorizing Hannah and Marnie for a weird horror movie segment. The whole situation allows Hannah to drop some knowledge on Marnie: Maybe she didn’t realize her husband was pounding Oxy like they’re fucking Mentos because she’s too busy always thinking of her self. Mind blown. (more…)

02/13/17 11:13am
You can keep Montauk, just leave us the Rockaways.

You can keep Montauk, just leave us the Rockaways.

Beyoncé once said, “The best revenge is your paper,” which is true, unless you’re Hannah Horvath, and the best revenge is writing about how your best friend stole your boyfriend and you didn’t bother warning her about his oral herpes in the paper of record. The final season of Lena Dunham’s iconic, infuriating, painful and sometimes painfully accurate portrayal of millennial aging and angst kicked off last night by setting its protagonist on a path of something that almost looks like success.

Hannah’s “triumphant” performance on the Moth has led to a Modern Love column in The New York Times which has in turn led to some freelance work for something called SlagMag. The editor (played with perfect emotional disregard by the hilarious Chelsea Peretti) sends Hannah up to Montauk to infiltrate (and inevitably fail at) a bougie surf class for bored ladies. She, of course, fakes an injury to her “front arm” and ditches almost immediately, opting instead to down electric blue cocktails and sun her open vagina. It’s not a total loss, though. She ends up on a whirlwind romantic adventure with the hot (but dim) surf instructor Paul-Louis (The Night Of’s Riz Ahmed) that includes sloppy fucking on a beach, Cheetos, Hangin’ With Mr. Cooper and vomiting off the side of a bunkbed. Oh, and an acoustic jam of soft alt-rock, mid-tempo classic “She’s So High.” (more…)