Just in time for the hospital-wing dominating birth of the Most Important Baby of Our Time this weekend, below you will find our favorite entries from our Babyonce pun contest! The winners got two tickets to tonight’s Punderdome 3000 at Southpaw in Park Slope, where all your groaners turn magically into golden side-splitters. Even if you didn’t win, the event is $5 and well worth it, especially as you’re probably in need of something silly and fun to fight off these winter grays. It’s jokes, jovialness and just a good ole Monday night. Read the winning entries below to get warmed up: You may have 99 problems, but these bitches can pun.
Megan Cummings: “If Jay-Z wants to keep his image, he betta keep that squirt off his shoulda.”
Julia Bedell: “They’ve got 99 problems but a bris ain’t one.”
Jesse Feldman: “What did Babyonce say before getting his diaper changed?
I don’t think you’re ready for this smelly.”
Dan Cerruti: “Jay-Z had Reasonable Doubt that the baby wasn’t his, but Beyonce convinced him she was Crazy in Love and that he was only one to Kingdom Come inside her.”
Jeff Siperly: “I can only imagine the baby’s crib. Gonna be the bassinet I never had.”
Punderdome 3000, 7:30pm tonight, $5 at Southpaw, 125 Fifth Ave., Park Slope.