Harder, better, faster, younger: CrossFit classes offered for kids in Red Hook

There are worse things you can do to your kids, we guess. via Columbia Street Gym

There are worse things you can do to your kids. We think. via Columbia Street Gym

Does your little tyke scale the sofa like it’s mini-Everest and make obstacle courses out of laundry piles, but just putting a basketball in her hands sends her screeching for the iPad? Races his brother up the stairs every day, but locked himself in his room the first day of peewee football? Well, maybe you guys just haven’t found the right outlet for his competitive, agile spirit. What if there were a way for your young’un to pursue his penchant for alternative exercise, but in an organized sports setting? Like, say, CrossFit?

Look no further then, the cult of CrossFit has found a way to sink its hooks into your little ones. According to DNAInfo, Red Hook’s Columbia Street Gym is now offering CrossFit Kids classes for children as young as age 3. First, CrossFit will seduce your kids with innocuous sounding warm-up games like “crab walk” “frog sits and stands” and “bear crawls” before launching into exercises fit for the mini-Marines. Class instructor Michelle Kelber assures that per CrossFit’s mantra, each participant competes mostly against himself, at his own pace, but these kids’ classes are “not a scaled-down version” of CrossFit’s typical intense workouts.

They’re hosting free intro sessions this Sunday tailored to different age groups. And there’s a sibling discount, so you may as well drop both of ’em off to work out their sibling rivalry on the mat. Hey, beats baby DJ school.