Usain-ly good closing ceremonies party: Cheap beer for charity!

Boozing for country pride and charity. It’s the American way.

Besides that rower’s giant boner and other chiseled Olympian body parts, is anyone actually paying attention to London 2012? It’s about superior athleticism and country pride, you guys. If you need help getting your mind out of the locker room, here’s a reason to elevate the Olympic spirit for Team USA. On Sunday, our friends at Full Circle Bar in Williamsburg are throwing a Closing Ceremony party where partrons will drink a beer for every medal Team USA won, at special gold, silver and bronze prices, with all proceeds from the medal beers going to the Special Olympics. Team USA is currently ranked #1 with 82 medals. The more medals they win, the more beers to drink (and money raised for an important charity)!

Here’s how it works: Grab a can top “medal” off the BREW.S.A (get it?) board. Each can top represents one medal won by Team USA athletes. Bring the can top to the bartender and pay the corresponding price: Gold = Fiat Lux ($5), Silver = Pennant Ale ($4), Bronze = Brooklyn Lager ($3).

The bartender will then bestow your beer with a medal card with the name of the Olympian and event to which they are toasting (e.g., if you grabbed a Gold can top medal from the board you would get a Brooklyn Brewery Fiat Lux for $5 and a card that says “This beer is in honor of Gabby Douglas who won Gold in the women’s gymnastics all-around event”).

The more you drink, the more of a champion you’ll feel like as you collect “medals.” Just do yourself a favor and wear some padding in those short shorts. You don’t want this major accomplishment to be overshadowed by an embarrassing erectile distraction.

Follow Rachel as she attempts to distract herself from her dirty mind @raeinbk.