Consider the lobstah and 13 other things to do this weekend

What that boiling pot? No, no, that's for a different sea cockroach, not you guys. via Flickr user James F Clay

What that boiling pot? No, no, that’s for a different sea cockroach, not you guys. via Flickr user James F Clay

1. Greenlight’s Brooklyn Indie Party is your chance to finally prove you’re cool to the cutie you’ve been talking to at the Brooklyn Book Festival all week. Don’t screw it up (Friday)

2. If you want to be literary but in a bit of a different direction, you can head to Pete’s Candy Store where a group of K-12 teachers will be reading poetry. None of it will be about Cathy Black, thank god (Friday)

3. Head to the Coney Island Film Festival and see some movies there, because it’s already too goddamn cold to go to the beach (Friday – Sunday)

4. Or you can go to Brooklyn’s northern end and check out the Greenpoint Film Festival, before some giant towers land on it and squash it (Friday)

5. A rock ‘n’ roll DJ at the Cobra Club means you can wear the ripped up crap you were gonna wear anyway, but now you can just claim you’re trying to fit in the aesthetic (Friday)

6. Brooktoberfest will have food and beer and music all along the Williamsburg waterfront and will get you foaming at the mouth for Oktoberfest. Figuratively. If you’re actually foaming at the mouth, see a doctor, Jesus (Saturday)

7. This MoCADA-sponsored block party in Bed-Stuy isn’t just a normal block party, it’s the Soul of Brooklyn Block Party (Saturday)

8. Eat lobster and listen to music with like-minded lobster and music lovers at Lobstah Palooza. We’re assuming a lobstah is a lobster (Saturday)

9. Oh hey a whiskey party. You probably don’t go to too many of those. We do though. Every day is a whiskey party for us (Saturday)

10. This duct tape jewelry workshop in Bay Ridge has wine included in the price of admission, so you’ll end up extra proud of your creations (Saturday)

11. Hit up the Second Annual Brooklyn Bluegrass Bash at The Bell House to get a reminder that there’s better things out there than goddamn Mumford and Sons and The Lumineers (Sunday)

12. Obsolete Cinema at Freddy’s is showing dark and disturbing movie Police Academy. Do you hear anyone laughing? Because we don’t (Sunday)

13. Canal Bar screens The Breakfast Club, so don’t you forget about it. Don’t don’t don’t don’t (Sunday)

14. The Brooklyn Book Festival is ending, so it seems like as good a time as any to get a taste of blondes, screwing and insanity (Sunday)