10/31/14 1:55pm
cypress hills cemetery

Hey, maybe you’ll make it here after all. via Facebook

So you were all set to make sure that one day you were going to be a New York City resident…forever. Then you read our investigation on how much it costs to get buried in Brooklyn and you figured you’d just try to dig a shallow grave in a construction site instead. But wait! Turns out that in true NYC thrift fashion, you can buy a secondhand grave. Some of them are only slightly used! (more…)

jimmyjane bullet

Way, way better than fun-size Jujubees

It’s kind a bummer that now that we’re adults, people are less into the idea of giving us free stuff in exchange for dressing as Superman or Aquaman or Slutty Jon Stewart on Halloween, but we guess that’s just part of life. What’s this though? Babeland in Park Slope (462 Bergen Street) is getting into the spirit of the holiday tomorrow, giving away vibrators to the first 25 people who show up the the store tomorrow. You don’t have to show up in a costume, but there’s a potential reward in it. (more…)

10/30/14 9:10am
morningstar tattoo

Dibs on that gremlin-looking thing

Halloween is the time for tricks, treats, and flash tattoos. We rounded up four shops offering $31 tatto deals in honor of the spookiest time of year. So gather your courage and get inked with the creepiest tat you can find…if you dare. (more…)

10/29/14 8:38am
You could look this cool. Well maybe not THIS cool, but close.

You could look this cool. Well maybe not THIS cool, but close.

We’re lamenting about graduating from Brokelyn High last Thursday, and like any good Millennial, the nostalgia is already coming on strong. We had a great freakin’ time at the Brokelyn High Homecoming Dance, but the clear-cut winner of the popularity contest wasn’t Mascot the Bear (sorry, Mascot), but our limited-edition varsity jackets. Not only do these bad boys make you look like you lettered in assassinating nefarious high school bullies, but they are hand-to-Holy-Spirit the most comfortable jacket you’ll purchase this fall. Did we mention the secret inside pocket? Oh. There’s a secret inside pocket. At just $30, this jacket is less expensive than a week’s worth of $7 lattes from that one coffee shop in Greenpoint, and it will keep you just as warm.

The jackets in action at the Brokelyn High Homecoming Dance. (Photo courtesy of Kim Dinaro)

The jackets in action at the Brokelyn High Homecoming Dance. (Photo courtesy of Kim Dinaro)

So what are you waiting for? Order your Brokelyn High Varsity Jacket now! (Or, conversely, if you want to start your summer shopping early, we’ve got t-shirts for sale too).

10/27/14 3:36pm
Be brave and maybe wear a shirt

Be brave and maybe wear a shirt.

Thanks to stupid Ebola, having a runny nose and coughing violently will now get you even more ostracized than it usually does. With flu season coming up, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to do your part to slow down fearbola by getting a flu shot so the people around you don’t have to think your body fluids will summon The End of Days. Lucky for you, there are a few chances for you to take care of that for free this week. (more…)

10/22/14 2:32pm
comix zone

New York’s weirdest video game

Selling nostalgia back to you at a jacked up rate is a not nice thing that people do. So isn’t it nice when you sometimes come across something like this Groupon for a Sega console that comes loaded with a bunch of games (good games even), and because the price is knocked down some, manages to come out to just $40. That comes out to just $1/game, before you even factor the system in to the whole thing. Hey you know what 90s kids fucking love? Really good deals. (more…)

popcorn machine

Your path to popcorn moguldom beings today

One of the difficult things about living in New York City is that you have to settle for popcorn from either a microwave or a stovetop, because no one owns a popcorn machine except for movie theatre owners. You can finally stop eating popcorn like a goddamn caveman though, because someone on Craigslist is letting the world know there are two free popcorn machines sitting out on the curb in front of the Bell House today. Truly, this is the land of opportunity that Taylor Swift sang about.

Not only do these two popcorn machines work, but they’re also said to be “in perfect condition,” by whoever is leaving them out on the curb. This is the perfect opportunity for whoever hosts a lot of movie nights, has a lot of popcorn kernels for some reason, or is ready to take their first step on the road to being a popcorn mogul. Pick these up and one day when Fortune asks you how you got your start, you can proudly tell them, “I got two popcorn machines out of the garbage in Gowanus.”

10/20/14 11:12am
brooklyn nets

Kevin Garnett displaying how much you should actually pay to see the Nets this year. via Facebook

Now that baseball season is over, you might have been worried your steady diet of a younger brother team that can’t seem to get out of its own way is going to be curtailed. Have no fear though, because the NBA season kicks off in just over a week and that means the Nets are back. With no Paul Pierce and no conference championship dreams this year, it also means cheap Nets tickets are on tap from the very start of the season! (more…)

10/16/14 9:51am
subway car for sale

Cheaper than a fixer upper. via eBay

Have you been looking for a way to permanently stay in New York City, but are discouraged by the prices and your total inability to get a decent mortgage? Join the club. Your savior may have arrived though, in the form of a man selling a 1935 R6 subway car on eBay. On the one hand, it’s a bit of a fixer upper. On the other hand, if you can park this somewhere and fix it up, it’s way cheaper than a fixer upper. (more…)

black gold records

They’re waiting for you. Photo via Jeff Ogiba

Say you just got a record player for your birthday, but the only record your jerk friends got you to go with it is Joe Piscopo’s “New Jersey.” Just hypothetically speaking of course. Don’t give up on your vinyl dream just yet though, because Black Gold Records (461 Court Street) is back with their biggest Gold Dig yet on Saturday, with over 5,000 LPs on sale for just $1. (more…)