01/19/15 5:29pm
This is probably not a good idea. (via Flickr user Steven Matthews.)

This is probably not a good idea. (via Flickr user Steven Matthews.)

Even though you probably refer to this city as your “stomping grounds” among friends, you might want to be careful where you stomp. Because sometimes ridiculous, only-in-New-York accidents happen, like a man falling to his death in Bed-Stuy through a commercial cellar door. Ugh. And while any instance of falling through the fucking floor is a real “freak accident,” we at Brokelyn wanted to know whether it was a preventable one — so we turned to an expert.

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As we all know, Bushwick has gone through some major changes in the last few years, on the road to being named the 7th coolest neighborhood on the planetSaturday Night Live noticed the changes too, so they set Kevin Hart, Jay Pharoh and Keenan Thompson as three hardened dudes on the corner who were enjoying some of the new elements to the neighborhood. Things like owning their own dog-walking business (and dog sweater knitting), gelato, paint night parties complete with wine, cheese and an acoustic cover of “I’m In Love With the Coco” and another damn joke about a mayonnaise shop in Brooklyn. Kevin Hart is still hard though, as the end of the skit shows.

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01/07/15 1:51pm
bushwick cofffee shop

Ground up by bad publicity. Photo by David Colon

For all of the many, many places in Brooklyn that closed last year, there was one that remained open despite enormous controversy. The Bushwick Coffee Shop, despite its owner using the shop’s Instagram account to call Jews “greedy infiltrators” whose culture has an “Illuminati sensibility” seemed to weather the storm. But for once, promises on social media that someone’s business would go under came true, as the place threw in the towel quietly at the end of 2014 Bushwick residents told DNA Info. (more…)

12/30/14 1:01pm
goodbye blue monday

See all this stuff? You could own a bunch of this stuff. via Flickr user Hrag Vartanian

One of the great things about Goodbye Blue Monday, aside from their free shows and very open booking policy, was the sheer amount of stuff piled up everywhere around it. Not to mention attached to the walls and spilling out into the backyard. Records, posters, old magazine, advertising signs, cool furniture, there’ll really never be another venue that looks like it. However, you can make your apartment look like Goodbye Blue Monday now, because today and tomorrow they’re selling everything that isn’t nailed down, in a giant liquidation sale. You can probably even get some stuff that’s nailed down, with the right offer. (more…)

12/12/14 12:18pm
bklyn house

These strange hieroglyphics are all that future historians found remaining in Bushwick. via Facebook

Earlier this year, we let you know that Bushwick was getting a big fancy new hotel, because your guests are just too damn fancy for the Bushwick Hotel. And now, just in time for Bushwick to be the newest neighborhood for creatives to look at and say, “Huh, it sure is expensive here maybe we should move,” the hotel’s owners are calling it a “Bushwick-inspired” hotel that will draw on whatever creative energy the place has left. “Like a vampire?” you ask and we nod because hey you said it, not us. (more…)

12/05/14 10:33am
arrogant swine brunch

This, but free. You don’t have to pay for this. No money down, no money at all actually. via Facebook

Love yourself some brunch but think it should be available as early as brunch, social “norms” be damned? That’s cool, we understand, and we’re thrilled to inform you that you can finally have the fat-laced barbecue brunch you’ve been waiting for. More importantly, the fat-laced brunch comes with FREE BLOODY MARYS.

According to DNAinfoArrogant Swine (173 Morgan Avenue), East Williamsburg’s new barbecue joint that was previously giving you free pig tattoos, is going introducing a brunch menu this Sunday. Brunch goes from 11am-4pm, and to celebrate the achievement, they’re featuring live music and yes, giving away free bloody marys courtesy of UBONS. As if brunch wasn’t enough of a drunken disaster. (more…)

endless summer sandwich shop

Mmmmm…summery. via Facebook

Hi there and welcome back from Thanksgiving. Now that you ate all the food and spent a weekend getting stuffed, surely you’ve had enough to eat, right? Hah, of course not, because it feels like there’s great places to eat opening every day around here. For instance, the owners of the Endless Summer taco truck just opened Endless Summer sandwich shop in Bed-Stuy. Do you have room in your stomach for sandwiches? Of course you do! (more…)

11/21/14 2:19pm
colony 1209

This can be yours, if you’ve got 80 million dollars

Hey, wanna feel kind of powerless just before the weekend starts? Of course you do! If you remember Bushwick’s Colony 1209 building, you might remember it as the apartment complex that literally presents itself as “homesteading” in a brand new neighborhood, which was one of many reasons people didn’t care for it. Well, it turns out your disapproval is meaningless, because the building which was bought for $58 million in April is now for sale with an asking price of $81.5 million. (more…)

11/20/14 9:12am
santacon

There’s still a lot of conspiracy and mystery as far as we’re concerned. via Flickr user Dave Bledsoe

There was gnashing of teeth and plenty of protest, and in the end it turned out that Bushwick is maybe more of a Chrimbus town than a Christmas town, because SantaCon organizers officially announced that they weren’t converging on Bushwick for New York City’s most hated bar crawl. If it was ever really showing up there to begin with… (more…)

11/17/14 2:40pm
santacon

Doesn’t matter if you’ve been naughty or nice, these dudes are coming to town, Bushwick. via Flickr user Josh Knowles

Hey Bushwick, what could possibly be worse than being deemed the 7th coolest neighborhood in the world by the glamour ghouls of Vogue? You figured nothing, right? Whoops, wrong! Better get your Grinch faces on, because the annual red-clad vomit, piss and ass-grabbing tornado known as SantaCon is coming to your sleepy industrial hood, to spread good cheer, good vomit, good piss and good ass grabbing all in the name of charity. Truly, a Chrimbus miracle! (more…)