‘Broad City’ Season 3, Episode 4: The weed thief vs. the weed kween

Rat bastard! Via Broad City twitter

Rat bastard! via @broadcity on Twitter

This week’s episode of Broad City was a return to form — stoner stuff, party truths, all of our favorite characters at peak sense of self and like so, so much weed.

Ilana, Jaime and Lincoln, by proxy, are attempting to solve a rat problem in their Gowanus apartment (it’s confirmed in this episode, via a delivery guy, that they live at Third Avenue and 10th St., because obviously they’d live right by the Bell House), and it’s pretty fucking gross — but don’t worry, it gets worse! Also, I’m sorry, but has the rat chewed through Ilana’s favorite pair of THINX, which I lit-rally called out last week? Hello? Are we following?

Brokelyn broad city staring showdown eugene mirman

After being overcharged by their exterminator Zed, the roomies decide to have a house party with a cover charge, which is definitely not a thing, to recoup their losses. Meanwhile, Abbi accidentally makes out with Trey (don’t ask me why I don’t hate this, but she doesn’t seem to either) while drunk off alcoholic Kombucha at a Summer Solstice SOULSTICE party, so she heads to Ilana’s and fires up the ol’ Tinder machine in order to right her makeout wrongs with the universe.

Meanwhile, Jaime thinks his parents have sent him a gift basket as an olive-tapenade branch to show they’re cool with him being gay. This gesture emboldens him to express himself via things like decorating the apartment with twinkle lights and confronting a friend with a terrible mustache, which are things we’ve all wanted to do at some point.

I won’t bore you with the details, but suffice it to say that Tinder may or may not be harder than it looks these days, though definitely still easier than escaping from city rats. Let us all shame every party without a weed bar from this day forward.

We picked out the references you may have missed, the moments we’re still talking about and the gifs you need in your life right now:

Moment that made us scream YAS, QUEEN: I mean, come on. Respect.

Weed Kweeeeen. Via Broad City Twitter.

Weed Kweeeeen. via @broadcity on Twitter

Best pun: Kom-booz-cha, obvi.

Brokelyn broad city trampoline abbi kombucha

Stay high: Don’t worry, we kept track of all the places Ilana hides her weed and her descriptions for every strain. Obviously.

Where a Broad keeps dat loud:

  • In a box labeled ‘WEED’ in the bathroom
  • Inside a battery-operated dildo in the bedside drawer
  • In a literal hole in the wall behind a poster of the solar system
  • Inside a rotten green pepper, cuz who eats nasty green peppers anyway?
  • Inside of a set of Russian nesting dolls
  • In her right nostril
  • And last but best, in her hair. Never underestimate a girl with big hair. 💁

Which bud is for you? Allow cannabis sommelier Ilana Wexler to help: 

  • Stonehenge: Super mellow. Body high. Elongates limbs.
  • Blue Dream: Suggested — LL Cool J. Not suggested: Red Hot Chili Peppers.
  • Red Dwarf: Great for Lord of the Rings parties, does not make them make sense.
  • Sour Diesel: Long haul trucker-approved. Cab driver nemesis.

Best Lincoln line: “If I ever get my own food truck, I’m gonna call it Lincoln’s Center.”

Spotify sync: The Broads make a sick party playlist, to no one’s surprise, and graciously gave shouts out to every single song featured in the ep on Twitter. Highlights included Fat Tony, Kitty and the world premiere of the track “Marijuana” by Brooklyn rapper Zebra Katz, who you should derrrfinitely start listening to if you aren’t already.

Actual real New York thing that got super, super real: Ohmyfuckinggod, just when you thought you already knew just how terrified you should be of NYC rats, one has babies inside of a knockoff Harry & David gift basket and you’re forced to acknowledge that some rats are just single mothers trying to make it in this city. STOP.

Brokelyn crying broad city sobbing ilana

Brooklyn comedian you might have missed: Eugene Mirman, one of our personal favorites, playing the Zed the creepy exterminator.

Best pop culture reference: Abbi doing her best Joey Tribbiani when she welcomes the SHP delivery dude in with a “How you doin?”

Gif of the week: TFW you can’t remember where you stashed ur stash.

Brokelyn hair broad city ilana weed queen

Bonus points: Aaron Jackson, the UCB comedian you know as Ilana’s man-bun-sporting former co-worker at Deals, Deals, Deals, brought his hair back to the party. Catch him tonight at Kweendom, a standup show hosted by our own Bobby Hankinson, and ask him what it was like chillin’ with Whoopi.

Catch up on the first three episodes here.

Follow Meghan on Twitter for more party tips: @meghannn