Valentine’s Day can be very stressful for single people, what with everyone out on awesome dates. But if you’re the type to eat your way through a bad day, then this is an excellent time to indulge in your worst habits! It can be a lot of fun, very delicious, and no one will judge you. In fact, when you eat these Brooklyn-made treats, the feelings you will be eating will be happiness and joy, as opposed to loneliness and resentment. So grab your stretch pants, or just buy a pair of jeans a size larger so you don’t feel bad come February 15. Feelings have never tasted so good!
The classic lonely single person food is, of course, ice cream. Ample Hills in Prospect Heights has over 20 flavors, and they offer new flavors daily, like cookie au lait, cotton candy, and even maple bacon at $4.25 for a single scoop. You can also get crack cookies- saltines covered in butter, sugar, and chocolate – for only $2.50 . Slightly pricier is bacon bark, a combination of toffee-bacon, chocolate and sea salt ($7.30). If you’re getting a whole lonely hearts club band together, you can all pitch in for a whole damn cake for $35. Seriously, eat away your loneliness here.
Ample Hills Creamery
623 Vanderbilt Ave (between Prospect Place and St. Marks Ave), Prospect Heights, (347) 240-3926
Then, of course, there’s chocolate. You’ll probably see a lot of couples walking around if you live in Cobble Hill or Park Slope, so the best way to remedy that would be to head to The Chocolate Room. The desserts are kind of pricey ($8.95 for a brownie sundae), so get the cheaper sweets, take them home and eat them in the privacy of your own bedroom. A chocolate dipped pretzel is a dollar, but I think the best bet is to get a bag of chocolate popcorn ($3 for a small, $4.50 for a large), and eat it – the whole thing – while watching a horror movie.
The Chocolate Room
269 Court Street (between Butler Street and Court Street), Cobble Hill, (718)246-2600
86 Fifth Avenue (between Prospect Place and St. Marks Avenue), Park Slope, (718)783-2900
Donuts! Dough has great donuts, if that’s what you’re looking for. With flavors like blood orange and dulce de leche, you won’t feel guilty after eating these. Yeah, it’s $2 to $2.50 for a donut, but that can help prevent you from eating an entire dozen, though, who cares on this miserable-slash-joyous day for single folks. Just think – you aren’t spending money on a significant other, so spend money on your significant self.
305 Franklin Avenue, Bed-Stuy, (347)533-7544
For great cookies that are super decadent (whoopie pies – pumpkin or chocolate?) and covered in frosting, One Girl Cookies is your best bet. There are two locations – one in Boerum Hill and one in DUMBO. It’s $1.75 for a whoopie pie so…get three? Or get four mini cookies for $2.75 and do a sampler.
One Girl Cookies
33 Main Street (between Water Street and Plymouth Street), DUMBO, (347)338-1268
68 Dean Street (between Boerum Place and Smith Street), Boerum Hill, (212)675-4996
And if you want just a cupcake, go to Cupcake Land in Williamsburg, where the cupcake list rotates daily with flavors like banana nutella, ganache, peanut butter, and Guinness. It’s $2.50 for a cupcake, which is cheaper than at chains like Crumbs, and if you’re feeling particularly bold or sad, you can get a dozen for $27.50. They also have cookies for $1.25 each. One flavor is “trashy” (a cookie with coconut, chocolate chips, cereal, and oats) and they also have “super trashy” (M&Ms, almonds, peanut butter cups, coconut, and white chocolate chips) – which may be appropriate for you depending on how you spend your V-Day . They also have vegan and gluten-free options, so now vegans and gluten-free folks can dive into eating some feelings, too!
390 Metropolitan Avenue (between Havemeyer Street and 5th Street), Williamsburg, (718) 388-5260
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