Vaginal fireworks, 29 other cool things to enjoy this weekend

1. Welcome spring with Clams and Jams at Brooklyn Launchpad, which is just what it sounds like, as long as you think it sounds like seafood and music (Friday)

2. Humor reading series Rebel Girl welcomes funny internet humans Alex Pareene, Tricia Lockwood Ann B. (@a_girl_irl) and more to Morgan Town Bar. Guaranteed laughs! (Friday)

3. Silent Barn is flipping off winter with their Rites of Spring party, that’s going to have dance, astrology, tarot card readings and LARP (Friday)

4. Lost-obsessed podcast Back to the Island invites all you Lostiacs to Union Hall for a taping of their newest episode talking about that famous show with the ending everyone hated (Friday)

5. Comedians are getting together at Over the Eight to make fun of spring at Slideshow, because nothing is above mockery, so get some laughs in at the season’s expense (Friday)

6. Literary magazine Lurch is putting out their final issue, but they’re celebrating at Freddy’s in style, with drunken readings and Francophole music makers Les Sans Culottes (Friday)

7. Eat some pork and listen to old punk, soul and rock and roll at Slakkerpunx at Pork Slope. Pork goes great with Girls at Our Best, just saying (Friday)

8. The day is finally here: the Dad Jams party is ready to take over Glasslands and show you damn kids what real music is (Friday)

9. Hear bi-lingual readings in English, Polish, Portuguese, Spanish and Catalan at different locations around DUMBO at the Brooklyn Literary Crawl (Saturday)

10. Help hang some “No Dumping, Leads to Waterways” signs next to storm drains in North Brooklyn, because the East River is gross enough as it is (Saturday)

11. New to Bed-Stuy? Longtime resident? Meet each other in Herbert von King Park and talk about how to peacefully co-exist at Neighborhday, which is either brilliant, naive or a little of both (Saturday)

12. Babeland wants to give you some some morning sex tips, some free coffee and some free sex toys if you get there early enough (Saturday)

13. See The Suzan, Wild Yaks and more, and celebrate skill sharing and locally grown food at The Good Festival at Baby’s All Right. Plus there’s a piñata! (Saturday)

14. Brooklyn Brewery founder Steve Hindy and Bronx Brewery Chris Gallant founder talk craft beer and how it’s taken over the world at powerHouse at the launch of Hindy’s book Craft Beer Revolution (Saturday)

15. Morgan Avenue Underground explores the ways that people have loved cats throughout time, which will maybe help explain your weird insistence on caring about your cat (Saturday)

16. Do you want to see vaginal fireworks by artist Judy Chicago explode over Prospect Park? Well great, because you can do that (Saturday)

17. Kimya Dawson and Aesop Rock’s Uncluded are stopping in to Brooklyn Bowl, and they’re bringing the Pizza Underground with them (Saturday)

18. Rocksteady and ska originators The Gay Lads are bringing their grooves to Littlefield, so stop by and thank them for inspiring the music that you listened to all through high school (Saturday)

19. Comedy clip show Jews and Reviews will show you how to survive Hollywood disaster scenarios at Videology, and will be playing drinking games while they teach you, because all learning is made better with booze (Saturday)

20. Hypnotic Brass Band marches into the Knitting Factory for a night of brass-inflected jams, and who are you to not move your hips to that? (Saturday)

21. A white ninja fights the KKK in Texas in the absolutely bonkers-sounding Ninja Vengeance, and you can see it all at the Spectacle Theatre for just five bucks (Saturday)

22. The Brooklyn Zine Fest is back to remind you that you can still read things printed on paper, and also get paper cuts from them, so seriously be careful (Saturday and Sunday)

23. “Fearless” Florence LaBadie, a silent movie star who died young and beautiful and was buried at Green-Wood is finally getting a proper headstone, and you can come to the dedication (Sunday)

24. Memoir writer Stacey Pershall will be giving tips to you on how to make your memoir readable and not a collection of boring stories, with a free class on memoir writing at WORD (Sunday)

25. Obsolete Cinema at Freddy’s gets even weirder than usual, with the screening of a movie called Nude on the Moon. How the physics of that works, we jus don’t know (Sunday)

26. Tired of going to clothing swaps and wishing they were more about plants? Well good news, you can finally go to a plant swap this weekend (Sunday)

27. Take a bike tour of the Brooklyn waterfront and learn all about its many parks how not to flood Newtown Creek with doody (Sunday)

28. The Macauly Culkin Show at Shea Stadium has an all-star lineup of comedy even for all-star lineups, with Chris Gethard, Manboobs (featuring Danny Tamberelli), Larry Murphy, Sasheer Zamata and more (Sunday)

29. Our Princess Is In Another Castle is getting geometric, devoting a whole night to Tetris and Dr. Mario, so if you love shapes and you love video games, here’s the place for you (Sunday)

30. Bad Credit, No Credit and Not Blood, Paint provide an evening of music at Union Pool from bands who have negative words in their name but are actually very enjoyable (Sunday)

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