You there, bothering your coworkers and friends with your ceaseless tide of groan-inducing puns: did you know there is a support group for people like you and me? It’s called Punderdome 3000 and it’s returning this Monday at Southpaw in Park Slope. The ‘dome is a night of sheer concentrated silliness, the kind for which you would normally be roundly booed and ejected from your dinner table. You get a topic (say “Will Smith”) and then 90 seconds to come up with a pun, or many puns (“They connected Will Smith to the crime because he left behind fresh prints“), and then deliver them to the audience, which picks the winner. You’d be competing against well-versed punsters, including several from the Brokelyn stables. It’s normally $5 to watch or compete, but we’ve got 10 tickets to give away, and naturally, since Brokelyn is a pun on its own, they’ll go to the best punsters. Make sure to wear your big shoes, because winning this thing is no small feat. Read on!
Seeing as we’re all abuzz with their very imminent baby, especially since Jay-Z and Beyonce were spotted ringing in the New Year at Buttermilk Channel this weekend, our pun topic is BABYONCE. We’ll pick five best puns by 10pm Saturday to get a pair of free tickets to the Punderdome on Monday, 7:30pm at Southpaw.
I’ll start:
-I hear Beyonce’s put on a lot of weight since being pregnant, not she’s got a real empire state of behind.
-Jay and Bey are releasing a new single the day the baby comes out. It’s called Bonnet and Clyde.
-Jay-Z drafted up plans for his own crib, but he was advised against releasing another blueprint.
BRING IT ON PUNSTERS!!
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I hear they’re naming the child Bey-B.
If Beyonce wants to keep up her career, next time Jay-Z better put a glove on top.
Can you believe he’s renaming his team the Bassi-Nets?
This baby is clearly destiny’s child. D’oh!
Word has it Beyonce wrote “Halo” while staring at her latest sonogram
Jay Z had Reasonable Doubt that the baby wasn’t his, but Beyonce convinced him she was Crazy in Love and that he was only one to Kingdom Come inside her.
It’s obviously a hard knocked-up life for her.
Jay’s new line of clothes is going to be called Rockabye Wear
That’s why you’re Forest Wittyker!
If little Babyonce needs to burp, someone should tell B “you gotta
get, that, baby on your shoulder.”
They’ve got 99 problems but a bris ain’t one (Get it? Not Jewish???!)
Jay and Kanye are releasing a new kids’ show: Wiggles in Paris.
beyonce asked Jay-Z to BRING IT ON and he gave her THE BEST THING SHE NEVER HAD!
Gotta bounce when Bay-B starts rockin’ the crib.
that baby better not stretch beyonce out, or jay-z will have to change ho-s
if jay-z wants to keep his image, he betta keep that squirt off his shoulda.
While strolling the streets of NYC, Jay and Bey will tote their tot in a “baby beyorn”
Rumor has it that it won’t be long before Jay and Bey move on to the next bun in the oven.
Punsters … PUNDERDOME 3000 here! Added incentive to win Brokelyn contest: on 1/9 we’ll have to two celebrity judges … Eileen Reynolds of The New Yorker and Chris Molanphy of the Village Voice – http://on.fb.me/wdISuK
What did Babyonce say before getting his diaper changed?
I don’t think you’re ready for this smelly.
What goes on @ the PUNDERDOME: YouTube … http://bit.ly/vKkz9A
Beyonce and Jay-Z like their baby’s first tooth so much they put a teething ring on it!
I heard Beyonce shivered and complained during her first sonogram because she wasn’t ready for this Ultrasound Jelly.
It’s a hard knocked-up life for this couple, they’ve got 99 problems, but a crib ain’t one.
If you liked your free time, you should’ve put a Ring in it.
I can only imagine the baby’s crib. Gonna be the bassinet I never had.
All the hungry babies, all the hungry babies
if you liked it then you should’ve put a bib on it
….
Man, they really blew (ivy’d) it on the name front