Sleep tight: Bedbugs found on three N trains

Hey, remember when you were all “WOOOOOO it’s V-B Day, we beat bedbugs!” and we were the insane paranoid in the corner talking about how that wasn’t and would never be true? Yeah, you’re gonna pretend you didn’t say that now, because the Daily News reports that bedbugs were found on three N trains this week. See that approaching train? It contains US BEING RIGHT and also the seeds of your destruction.

“Oh it’s just three trains,” you say, “stop being stupid.” No we will not stop being stupid. Oh sure the MTA told the News that they “exterminated” the bedbugs and that the cars were fumigated, but the thing about bedbugs is the thing about Pringles: You don’t find just one. We’re pretty confident in wildly speculating that a few of them hitched rides home with commuters, commuters who are going to not even see this article because “Oh we beat bedbugs and we danced in the street about it.”

So go ahead and make your dumb jokes about Ebola, you’re not gonna get Ebola. But ARE going to get a row of bug bites soon enough. Followed by another one that looks suspiciously similar, then another, then another…

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