Six-pointed star snow finally gives Jews their own version of Jesus toast

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What does it mean, though? Photos by Faye Penn

For years, Jews have watched in silence as the goyim have reported seeing Jesus in everything from toast to oranges to potatoes, and have gone back and forth between thinking the goyim were a little meshugeh or if they were on to something. It looks like we’ve gotten our answer in the form of the latest snow that blew into town last night, as our own Faye Penn found these Magen David-shaped snow flakes on the floor of her blessed mini-van. Finally, a message from Hashem to his people! What is he trying to say, though?

Screen shot 2015-01-30 at 10.20.24 AM

We don’t know for sure what this all means, but we think instead of going crazy looking for signs and asking why, we’re gonna take guidance from the ancient Jewish fable about The Goy’s Teeth and remember that the universe is vast and unknowable.

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