RIP L train: 10 proposals to replace the L if it closes for years

The next Manhattan-bound L train will arrive in 1,576,800 minutes. Via.

RIP L train, we’d say you had a good run but that was only on the times you weren’t overcrowded or not even running on the weekends. Gothamist broke the news yesterday (later confirmed by the Times) that the L train between Brooklyn and Manhattan could be shut down for three whole years (!) to repair tunnel damage work from Hurricane Sandy [UPDATE: 7/25: We now know the train will officially shut down for 18 month starting in January 2019]. As preposterous as it seems to shut down an entire subway line that moves 300,000 riders a day from Williamsburg, Bushwick, Ridgewood, Brownsville, East New York and Canarsie, preposterous is just another dare for the MTA. But before you get too worked up about being stuck at the Bedford Stop until 2020, don’t fret: people are already proposing totally rational alternatives to #LNiño.

They don’t want you to get to work

https://twitter.com/erikhinton/status/687379932054421504

The Pat Kiernan “tandem plan”

Total shutdown!!?? Insane that MTA is thinking of anything but option that keeps 1-tube service for L train. https://t.co/ilkC0Anhsi

— Pat Kiernan (@patkiernan) January 13, 2016

Tugboats

Now accepting volunteers to help me build tugboat commuter system. https://t.co/ufPGRToGPm

— Hillary Robbins (@Hillarob) January 13, 2016

A singe skateboard

@MTA may as well just replace the L train with a skateboard that we all take turns luging across the Williamsburg bridge with

— the bublé xmas album is good (@AndyBellEtc) July 14, 2015

Hand-cranked dirigibles (because hipsters amiright)

L train closing for years lets Williamsburg residents commute via hand-crank dirigibles like they've always wanted https://t.co/g18C9OyEMM

— Baratunde (@baratunde) January 13, 2016

Hovercrafts

Better options
1. Build a whole new tunnel
2. Pave over Williamsburg
3. Hovercafts! https://t.co/dG2oN2xKTd

— Dashiell Bennett (@dashbot) January 13, 2016

Unicycle rickshaws (because hipsters amiright)

Already looking forward to seeing Unicycle Rick-Shaws on The Williamsburg Bridge in 2017. https://t.co/zc68yjQTXG

— Sean lynch (@seanlynchcomedy) January 14, 2016

Zipline across the East River

With the L train closing, gonna put my "Zipline across the East River" Kickstarter back online. To everyone who doubted me, eff u

— Connor Kilpatrick (@ckilpatrick) January 13, 2016

Josh Gondola-man

With no L train, it's time to think about THE GONDOLA https://t.co/O8rfASVKuv pic.twitter.com/jpyeagZcoN

— Gothamist (@Gothamist) January 13, 2016

Bus bridge (note: this is a Real Idea)

An obvious solution would be:
1. Total L train shutdown
2. Bus bridge via Williamsburg Bridge with cars diverted to other E. River xings..

— Second Ave. Sagas (@2AvSagas) January 13, 2016

Make a new bridge out of people who don’t understand that the L train serves families and long-time residents who live as far out as Canarsie not to mention ex Manhattanites living in new condos

L Train May close for repairs – How will the hipsters get to work? Oh yeah, hipsters don't . . . https://t.co/3eujSgrpV1

— Alex Marshall (@Amcities) January 14, 2016

people could just move to ACTUAL brooklyn where there's more than one subway line? https://t.co/kjhgWCMXoF

— Emily Cohn (@emily_cohn) January 13, 2016

L Train may be shut down for a year. So how are all those people who don’t need to work for a living going to get in to their jobs!?

— Ritch Duncan (@ritchied) January 14, 2016

Of course, there is only one actual solution: rig a train up as a Back to the Future 3 style time machine and go back 30 years to invest in our city’s infrastructure before it’s too late.