Tired of not being able to find a seat on the subway? Of course you are! It’s like saying you’re tired of that garbage smell during the summer, or high rent or Mike Bloomberg’s stupid face. But short of wandering around with your own tiny seat, there isn’t much you can do about being required to stand in the subway. Fortunately for us, the folks at the Transportation Research Board have been watching us (on the train only we hope) and have some recommendations for an improved seating and standing environment.
The shocking results of their study? No one wants to sit directly next to each other. Hopefully it didn’t cost them much to find that out. Also according to Wired, it’s “interesting” that riders cluster by the doors, as opposed to say, inconsiderate thing done by complete jerks. In order to combat this, the board recommends placing doors on the cars asymmetrically, instead of punching people in the back of the head and telling them to move where there’s some goddamn space.
To solve the problem of no one wanting to be stuck in middle seats, the study suggests adding “airplane-style” seating on the cars. And as you can see below, making the horizontal seats smaller, hopefully keeping people from crowding on to them. All of this, just so that you don’t have to get right on top of that person inexplicably eating an entire chicken parmigiana, spilling delicious marinara all over the place. Seriously, wouldn’t you enjoy eating that more almost anywhere on Earth?