The late Christopher Hitchens once said champagne was one of the four most overrated things in life (and if you play your cards right, you might get the other three tomorrow night too). Yet every year we feel obligated to drink the stuff while easing way past an entirely symbolic measurement of time, holding on to that last fading glow of joy the holiday season has been getting us hooked on since November. Double down that pressure this year because it’s on a Saturday. So what are actually going to do for New Year’s Eve? Asshat-filled warehouse party? Intimate couch canoodling? Free bar party? Neighborhood-wide streaking? Pop your mouth cork and let those comments rip, brokesters. And let’s be safe out there.
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No. Nope. No way. No how.
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i’m going to buy a dress at Forever 21 and watch people drink while i stand in the corner and remember the blacked out days of my early 20s. BUT IN A SPARKLY DRESS.
make sure to judge them silently
A reggae party in Bushwick and all that it implies.
I’m going to imbibe lightly so as to assume childcare on Sunday while deriding my inevitably compromised husband.
also, celebrating a new year in the depths of winter always seems like the most morose thing ever. New year’s eve should be moved to June 1, when things are actually coming to life again. Who will join me in this movement? #OCCUPYCALENDARS
Actually, this is one thing the Jews get right: Our new year is in the fall, where it belongs.
now, settle on a spelling for hanukkah and you’ll be golden
No way, us Jews like to have our options. We also like to have our Hamantashen and eat them too.
keeping it local for the first time in a few years. apartment party all the way!
Couch snuggling with my mom and my dogs.
Public Assembly apocalyptic disco hosted by Cheryl!
I’m blowin’ this popsicle stand and getting out of town to avoid the “omg which party are we going to omg will it be the most fun eeeeeeeeeever??” of a NYC NYE.
I might make a pit stop at a party, but as far as I know I’m planning on spending NYE with Netflix and Chinese food.
cooking dinner for 9 and then small, low key house party. nowhere near 18 year old vomiters in Manhattan. hurrah!
As I alluded to in the previous New Year’s post, I’m going to a party and showing up with Glug. Glug is the most digusting, intoxicating, hilarious and hands-down best beverage in the Western (and possibly Eastern) Hemisphere.
the above statement has not been certified by the FDA
Another small business strangled in the crib. Thanks a lot, Obama!
Apartment party(ies). It’s the only thing I don’t think will be terrible on New Year’s.
worrying about not having a stable job
crap i didn’t mean to reply to your comment, sorry