Open thread: is finding a good guy to date in Brooklyn really harder than anywhere else?

Oh why can't Brooklyn boys be fly like they used to be? via
Oh why can’t Brooklyn boys be fly like they used to be? via

Doesn’t matter where I live, or how old I am; for as long as I can remember, women have bitched about men. Fuck and run, even when I was 12. In New Orleans, where I’m from, it used to be, oh, they’re all drunks and druggies who can’t get a real job. At Oberlin, where I went to college, it was, oh, they’re a bunch of weirdos who think they can just do whatever they feel like. And now that I live in Brooklyn, every girl I talk to is sure the men here are the worst—too broke to buy you a drink, too busy shitheaded to text you back, and somehow don’t even want to get it on as much as you do, what? My conclusion, based on raw data amassed from a lifetime of being a heterosexual woman, is a version of Daria’s famous quote: “Men suck no matter what, so don’t be fooled by location changes.” Am I wrong? 

Beyond these convictions declared confidently over drinks in bars from zip code to zip code, now there’s a new theory thrown into the mix: I keep hearing it’s my generation that’s fucked, you know, the feckless millenial man who won’t come through for you. Yesterday, over at Jezebel, writer Hillary Crosley reported on a study claiming that young men, beat down by this economy, were more likely to feel insecure about their own shortcomings in light of their partner’s success, whereas women more often felt the opposite. Combine a study like that with stories of Brooklyn men not measuring up, even short films about it, and it’s hard not to believe being a single girl in Brooklyn is the toughest predicament. Unless you’re of the mind that it’s our fault for having too high standards.

I, for one, still stand by my half Liz Phair, half Daria-inspired theory. What do you gals think?

Follow me @yatinbrooklyn for more theories on women and men.


  1. I’m also saying this from over a decade of dating – Brooklyn appears to be the hardest spot. Comparing to: Atlanta, Los Angeles, New Orleans, and college in midwest.

    I think you hit the nail on the head when you talk about men’s insecurity, lack of interest in sex, and in general, not date you properly during its short stint. Men have amnesia how fun dates can be.

    Yes, we (me, girl, you, boy/wannabeman) both realize this will be short-lived, so why not treat each other with respect , get it on, and go out while we do it?!

    Just sayin.

  2. Dannie

    But… I totally agree with this article’s point, and don’t doubt that’s what going on out there in Brooklyn, where living in a basement with 1 foot tall windows, and 400 dollars rent, is still considered an apartment.

  3. i dont know the answer to this because all the other cities i’ve lived in have either been long term relationship-villes or one night stand-towns, but i think the problem with this city is the same as the problem with those restaurants that have menus that go for 8 double sided pages. too much choice gives so much room for doubt and second guessing. (maybe i should have gone with the lo mein. but i love pad thai. why is there also pizza on this menu. maybe i’m not even hungry.)

  4. Pels is right about crazy choices and indecision here. Plus, women in Brooklyn are pretty picky, especially when it comes to men’s money/careers. They want guys who do better than them, period, unless it’s for a quickie.

    • Madelyn Owens

      I strongly disagree with this. Almost every single one of my lady friends makes more money is more ‘traditionally successful’ than their boyfriends. Both sexes are guilty of constantly “trading up” though, you can always date someone with better boobs or a better blog.

  5. haha you could say the same thing about women in the city
    i think it’s just a symptom of New York and what it’s becoming as it slowly fills up with douchebags of both sexes…all those souless, bespectacled, 20-30 somethings walking around Williamsburg and trendier-parts brunching with visions of cronuts dancing in their heads.
    Save for the downtrodden masses, there’s no regular people left in the city anymore..

  6. Working Man

    I’m a man with a good job and an apartment to myself and most women in NYC don’t seem to give a fuck. It’s like they always think they can do one better, no one is ever good enough for them.