Now Hiring: Van Leeuwen, Bloomberg and more!

Here'a scoop: These folks are hiring
Here’a scoop: These folks are hiring

What do Santa and Hanukkah Harry have in their mysterious, jolly sacks for all the unemployed or frustrated with their employment situation boys and girls? Jobs! Fantastic new jobs! What do they have in their sacks for the bad boys and girls out there? Continuing soul crushing employment of the kind that makes you dread waking up every day! So, only read today’s job roundup if you’ve been good this year.

You spend enough time coming up with funny tweets that people love that your friends tell you that you should get paid for it. Well until Twitter turns their retweet function into a tip jar, here’s the next best thing for you: ad agency Havas Worldwide is looking for a social media coordinator to help speak for the many brands they represent, like Citibank, Durex and Volvo. Don’t let the client list intimidate you, according to the job listing, this is a great landing spot for someone with just a little bit of experience, provided that you can excel at things like maximize engagement, plan content calendars across platforms and keep an eye on what the competition is doing.

You’re old enough to be out of college, but you like the feeling of hanging out on a campus. Instead of becoming a suspicious person in the eyes of campus security, why don’t you just get this job as a graphic designer/office assistant in the Student Affairs Office at NYU Polytech? You’ll be responsible for things like putting together letters from the Associate Dean of Students and designing graphics that advertise campus events, and unlike the people for whom college is a giant money drain, you’ll be making $25/hour to hang out on campus.

Journalism might have a shit future in most areas, but there’s one place where people are actually sought out and paid well, and that’s infographic journalism. Words are terrible and pictures are a little easier to process, so if you’ve got the skills to turn words and numbers into nice pictures, you’re the person Bloomberg wants as their new interactive graphics journalist. Not the job is super easy or anything, since you’ll be responsible for pitching ideas, turning data sets in pretty pictures and coding the graphics themselves. That being said, if you’ve got a couple years of experience creating infographics, Bloomberg is made of money, so it’s a place you can got that won’t be laying off your friends a week after you get there.

It’s one thing to love ice cream. It’s one thing to scream for ice cream. There’s a certain kind of person out there who wants to make ice cream their whole damn life, and if you’re the kind of person than this job as a barista and scooper at Van Leeuwen‘s Williamsburg shop should be right up your alley. There are full-time and part-time positions available in one of the few whimsical spots left in Williamsburg, so you’ll be a fit here whether you’re looking to move up the ladder in the world of ice cream or just need to make some money as you work on your novel. Plus, what other ice cream shops give health insurance to their ice cream servers?

It’s hard out there for a tenant, what with working three jobs to pay the rent. Even worse, you never know when your landlord is gonna try to pull something like destroying your kitchen in the name of “improvements” meant to drive you out of your home so they can rent your apartment for three times the price you pay. If situations like that make you boiling mad, take that deep reserve of rage fire and put it to use as a paralegal for the New York Legal Assistance Group. As NYLAG’s paralegal, you’ll be working in their Housing Group, meeting with clients, creating casefiles, doing data entry and helping their selfless attorneys in any other matters they need help in for their mission to provide low-income New Yorkers with free legal services.

Hey remember Genius, the rap lyric annotation website that had dreams of becoming the official annotation site of the entire planet? Well, those dreams of theirs aren’t dead, and they’re staffing up in an attempt to make said dreams come true. If you want to be a part of annotation startup history, you can snag a job as one of their front end developers and developing the crap out of their stack. You need to know Ruby, PostgreSQL and Redis to be qualified, and have to to be down with the whole messianic startup culture thing to survive there.

And finally, you can get a job surrounding yourself with the beauty of the Brooklyn Botanic Garden by becoming their membership associate. After all, what’s a big fancy garden without members to support it? You’ll be the primary person dealing with members through the phone and email when they have questions and complaints, you’ll help put the newsletter together, help put together materials showing what a good idea it is to become or stay a garden member and work the occasional event. No matter how frustrating it gets just remember that you’ll be speaking for the flowers, who can’t speak for themselves.

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