Now hiring: Neighborhood coffee shop

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They’re heeeeere… via The Onion

There’s nothing like your neighborhood coffee shop. Even though they all exist to do the same thing, which is to pump legally acceptable speed into your brain, each one does it a little differently. Whether one specializes in latte art, sourcing the most magical coffees from the far-flung corners of the world or they just always hire incredibly cute baristas, the neighborhood coffee shop is far from a homogenous enterprise. And now Williamsburg is getting themselves another independent operator to add to their collection of them, a new place called…Starbuck’s? Sorry, no, Starbucks. Williamsburg is getting a Starbucks, and they’re hiring.

Just when we were done rending our garments over the chain store invasion of Brooklyn (better go to H&M to get some more garments!) comes news of another corporate behemoths swinging its big…influence into our neck of the woods. Eater NY found a couple job listings from the coffee chain that considers Michael Bolton edgy. The chain is moving into an empty space located at 405-409 Union Avenue, finally solving the problem of not being able to find a cup of coffee a Maroon 5 album in Williamsburg.

Anyway, we’re sure this symbol of the complete inescapability of corporate control of our lives will be greeted with quiet indifference from Williamsburg residents. And it’s bound to be welcomed by all your moms and dads who moved there recently but can’t stand people judging them at the rest of the neighborhood’s coffee shops.

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  1. You mean Union Ave, not Union St.

    Union Ave is in Williamsburg. Union St. cuts through Park Slope and Carroll Gardens.

  2. doesn’t Starbucks treat their employees really well? like they offer benefits and shit? cause that’s better than most small businesses in that area.

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