Now Hiring in BK: Pies ‘n’ Thighs, BAM, and more!

BAM, and, by proxy, David Byrne need you. Via Flickr
BAM, and, by proxy, David Byrne need you. Via Flickr

Do you need a new job? What? No, you don’t? Are you sure? No, it’s fine…I just spent all this week rounding up the best job posts in New York, specifically for you. I mean, these are some fantastic, amazing jobs that I’ve found, but I guess if you’re totally fine, then whatever. Are you sure you don’t want to at least look? Does your job involve medieval art and mastery of the perfect pie? You should probably at least do a quick browse, you know, just for fun. And to find a new career that will make you truly happy in life. Happy hunting!

To start off, The Cloisters (a.k.a. The Met’s stronghold against Vikings) is looking for a new Visitor Services Assistant, so if you’re looking to get into the museum game or just trying to find a way to put that totally-completely-100% useful fine arts degree to work, then this is the place. The job itself is a lot of general helping of guests (tourists), but if you’ve been to a museum before, then you can pretty much imagine what the job entails, basically being on the other side of the desk during every time you’ve talked to someone. Of course, if you haven’t been to a museum before, then get out of New York, you’re doing it wrong.

Of course, if you’re looking for more current, and much weirder, art, as well as less of a commute, then good news because BAM is currently hiring a Human Resources Coordinator to help manage their army of artsy people and artsy, um, artists. The job requires knowledge of some fairly technical HR stuff (I suppose?), but only requires one year of previous experience, so if you’re in HR  at a place that doesn’t regularly entertain the most interesting people in Brooklyn, then maybe you should change that. Remember, Brooklyn doesn’t become the hippest place in the U.S. on its own, it takes a lot of people working at it, and now they need you to manage those people.

Next up, do you like mechanical things? Do you prefer your mechanical things outgoing instead of shy and introverted? Then good news, because Popular Mechanics is looking to hire on an Articles Editor who isn’t going to gum up the works. The job obviously requires a fair amount of technical knowledge, and even more technical curiosity, but if you’re the kind of person who hears “Popular Mechanics” and keeps reading, then you’ve probably already got that covered. Of course, you’re going to need a fair amount of writing experience if you’re going to be editing these eggheads, however the ad is oddly vague about any kind of specific requirements for applying, so if you think there’s even a small percentage that you might be fit for the job, think of the most technologically advanced way to get your resume to them.

Now, you might consider yourself a pretty good baker; maybe the neighbors have complimented you, or your relatives have requested you bake something for all the reunions, but face it: you will never be as good as the bakers at Pies’n’Thighs. Of course, feel free to prove me 100% wrong, since Pies’n’Thighs is now hiring on new Bakers! This place is regularly voted as having some of the best baked goods in the borough, and you could learn all of the different tricks of the trade while getting paid to do so! Just keep in mind, this job will be incredibly difficult, if only because I will be eating every donut just as soon as they’re cooked.

Next up, do you have an eye for interior design? Do you have dreams of a perfect coffee table bringing a room together, and nightmares of a rug clashing with a nearby sofa? I’m assuming no, because that would be the sleep pattern of an insane person, but if you said yes to the first thing, then you’re exactly the kind of person that Affordable Interior Design is looking for. They’re looking to hire on new Interior Designers immediately, ideally with a little bit of previous designing experience, to help them with their design collaborations with big names like Ikea and Crate and Barrel, so if you’re an interior designer who’s looking to work with some real companies, send your resumes to Meg Davis at info [AT]

If you consider yourself a health nut, and also on the brink of financial ruin because of rampant spending on health products, then try rethinking your approach by working for a place that gives you smoothies for free! Green Mustache is currently hiring on an Operations Guru to help their insides work without a hitch, making you a kind of human version of what their smoothies hope to achieve. The job basically involves running the smoothie-making part of their whole operation, so previous commercial kitchen experience and ideally some HACCP training are required, along with an annoyingly upbeat personality that can only be described as Chris Traeger-esque.

Finally, children are idiots. If you’ve been watching their slow descent into communicating exclusively with emoticons and snapchats and would like to do something, anything to stop it, then you’re in luck! The Brooklyn School of Languages is hiring on Activity Leaders for their summer program to teach children of many different backgrounds that their languages are wrong and that English is the best. This is a great summer job for English majors with some experience working with kids (I know, you’ll have to quit your high-paying English Major firm that doesn’t exist), so send any and all resumes to Rich Ambler at rich [AT]

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