Now Hiring in BK: Le Bernardin, Brooklyn Bridge Park and more!

brooklyn bridge park
Your new office. Well, if we’re being realistic, you won’t actually be working in the park itself. Photo by Etienne Frossard via Facebook

Hello Brooklyn, and welcome to your new future! It has been a raging freeze-hell outside, and possibly you’ve been walking to work, thinking “Is this barista job really worth six more blocks of this agony?” The answer, of course, is no, and that mathematics degree you’ve got stuffed behind your headboard should really be doing more then acting as a home for 17 spiders. So, to get you to a future where you’ll be gladly skipping to work while various digits are freezing off, here are some new, great jobs that have just fallen onto the market, collected courtesy of your good friends at Brokelyn (more specifically one friend, who cares about your future career very much).

Parks are the best, and if you agree and aren’t too teary-eyed over Parks and Rec ending to read, check out this new listing from the Brooklyn Bridge Park for a new Program Coordinator! The job involves coordinating with the park and setting up various events throughout the year including kayaking, outdoor yoga, and tons of other different programs oriented towards getting Brooklyn fit and fun. The job itself sounds like an equal balance of organization, awesome fun classes, and community outreach, so if you think that you’re the King’s County’s own Leslie Knope, send in a resume! The job listing doesn’t really mention any specifics as towards experience needed, so if you have a love of the outdoors and plenty of binders, feel free to apply.

Next up, a major sports brand is looking to hire on a Production Assistant to get in the game. While the ad is somewhat shady as to who the actual employer is, they do insist that you have a love of all things sporty, and if you’re used to talking about last night’s game at work anyways, might as well get a job where that’s a plus, instead of having Steve from HR laugh awkwardly and try to corral you back to your desk. They’re looking for someone with digital knowledge, and it’s contract to start, but if you’ve already got a little PA experience in your back pocket, this should be nothing new.

If you love social media, and love social media even more when you’ve got a raging caffeine buzz going, then you’re in luck because FIKA, the successful espresso bar chain, is looking to bring on a Social Media Strategist! The job involves a lot of the normal social media stuff, including monitoring their twitter and keeping their Instagram as non-anti-semitic as possible. The job, I imagine, brings a whole new definition to the term “perks,” so expect to be buzzed for every minute you’re on the clock, and I imagine everyone there talks with the speed of a Gilmore Girl. Only one year of experience for this position, as well as some Photoshop knowledge, so remember to apply while on your way to that seventh shot of espresso.

Do you love math? Ha, nerd! No, wait, sorry, that was off-topic (though entirely true), the reason I bring it up is because Springer Science+Business Media is currently hiring on an Assistant Editor in their Math department (god, I can’t imagine the number of broken-and-taped-back-together glasses in that building). The job is fairly editorial, with you dealing with a lot of different authors, getting in contracts, and attending events, but if you really love math (and who doesn’t?), then you’ll probably be qualified. They’re ideally looking for a mix of Math and Editing knowledge, but I imagine if you’ve got enough editing experience, it’ll average out. I imagine. I really have no idea how to find averages anymore.

Next up, if you’ve got a head for numbers, but have always considered yourself more of an artistic foodie trapped in a harsh world of pluses and minuses, then there might be hope for you yet. World-class and arguably-best-in-New-York restaurant Le Bernardin is now looking for somebody to run their Accounts Payable department. While the job does require a fair amount of previous experience running numbers for businesses, think of the perks! The food, drinks, working 50 feet away from where Jennifer Lawrence probably eats every night! I want you, accountant, to go to your break room right now and look at the stale doughnuts. Just stare at them. You deserve better.

Do you love working with your hands? Are you currently sitting on something that you, personally, built? Do you have a big, manly beard? Well, if you said yes to the first two questions (the third was just for this project I’m working on), then you’re in luck, because a fancy, high-end furniture company is now looking for a Master Wood-Worker to help out in their fancy, high-end wood and metal shop. This isn’t an ad for amateurs, but if you’ve got some building experience and want to put it to good use, this sounds like an awesome opportunity to work in a high-tech shop with some people that also sit exclusively on things that they’ve built by hand.

Finally, we have a job for a Junior Designer who loves to read, which really isn’t too hard to find since pretty much every designer is a huge bookworm (jock designers are like unicorns). The job is over at Tor Books, and involves designing covers for both digital and in-print books (for as long as printing is still a thing, so, what, two more months?). There’s a few more duties than that, but it’s all pretty much in the same “designing” line of thought, so if you want your art on the cover of a book and have even a smidgen of design experience, send in your application today. However, do proof-read it before sending it in, as I hear these people tend  to read  things pretty thoroughly.

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