Everyone gets old, and part of getting old means getting a little lame and trading in your brass monkey for brass doorknobs. Mike D of the Beastie Boys is taking that metaphor rather literally, because he collaborated with a design company to make Brooklyn-themed wallpaper. It’s perfect for that apartment you’ll never be able to buy because the dream of home ownership isn’t available to Millennials!Somehow this isn’t some weird hoax visited upon us by a vengeful hip hop press, this is the real deal. According to Flavorpaper, who’s selling the Brooklyn Toile, Mike D wanted to “pay tribute to all things Brooklyn in a way that would appear to be a traditional French Country Toile,” which we guess he’s done here? The wallpaper has iconic Brooklyn imagery like The Cyclone, the Notorious B.I.G., the Brooklyn Bridge and a Hasidic Jew, if you want to see some Jews.
“Making wallpaper is so hip-hop” according to one anonymous Brokelyn writer, so if you agree, the wallpaper can be yours for as low as $7 per square foot. It’s especially nice if you wan to turn your bathroom into an eerie red-tinged room of dread and anger.