The reasons to keep calm are numerous, and available in all colors, sizes, and articles of clothing. A quick search reveals you should keep calm “And Be a Pandicorn,” keep calm “And Love Pizza,” keep calm, “And Oppan Gangnam Style,” all according to the first page of Google Images. Variations of the 1939 British World War II poster are endless, providing an entire industry of unproven medical advice for anti-anxiety methods.
Now, online retailer Hipster Bullshit (“Super chill apparel for the modern millennial avocado-toast-eating converted-loft-living $7-cortada-sipping LCD-Soundsystem-liking yuppie hipster seeking to fill the horrible void of existence by buying a bunch of cool-ass bullshit to parade around gentrified neighborhoods all over the Western world and occasionally Thailand) is providing merchandise for the self-aware gentrifier who seeks to distract from their outsider status by proclaiming and promoting their outsider status on ironic tees, tanks, and crewneck sweatshirts.
There’s the $30 GentriFire (but the fire portion of the text is a fire emoji) sweatshirt, a $24 Williamsburg Sucks tee, and the Keep Calm And Gentrify Brooklyn design in a unisex tank, with a cupcake emoji, and a tee, sans cupcake. There are also a number of other thematically relevant, but non-Brooklyn specific apparel options.
Will your neighbors hate you more now that you’ve forced them to be aware of an industry of apparel (or at least one online store) based on the concept of gentrifying Brooklyn by parading your body around the area in said apparel? Yes, the answer is yes.
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