New Yorkers are staying hooome: Here’s how Brooklyn is preparing for winter storm Jonas

Come sit next to me, pour yourself some tea.
Come sit next to me, pour yourself some tea.

After months of freakishly unseasonal warmth that had us hoping maybe we would be able to sneak by another year without buying a real winter coat, winter, as they say, is a’comin. The blizzard about to hit the city Saturday through Sunday could be a doozy, and the Weather Service issued an official blizzard watch this morning. Like most weather and all things in life, it will probably be a big huff of disappointment, and we’ll go yet another year without testing the limits of our drunk sledding skills. But in the meantime, everyone should probably panic. Here’s how Brooklyn is preparing for this winter storm. And if you don’t like the Weather Channel’s chosen “Jonas” name we offer an alternative: DAVID SNOWIE. 

Defining the storm in pop culture terms:

Stocking up on the essentials (you know, bread and milk soup):

Or instead pretending like it’s the end of the world:

and stocking up on the essentials:

Remembering the snow classics:

Locking down that winter’s bone:

Appropriately calling out snow doubters:

Praising the timing (if you weren’t hoping for a snow day at least):

Practicing our art skills:

Hoping this means we never have to go into Manhattan again:

And of course, spinning some classic jams:

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Finally, this isn’t here, but we hope Brooklyn school children are taking note: 

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