‘Girls Guide to Greenpoint’ shows Vogue too bored to troll Brooklyn

cafe grumpy
Fun fact: Cafe Gumpy is a real place

Whenever Vogue comes to Brooklyn, it’s reason for celebration. Not because it “legitimizes” Brooklyn, or whatever some stupid person would say, but because you’re bound to find something howlingly funny that our fashionable betters have printed about Brooklyn. Or at least that’s how it used to be. The advertising flipbook magazine came to Greenpoint and delivered a more or less dry guide to Brooklyn’s northernmost point. Are they bored with trolling us suddenly?

Where we’d previously get news that moving to Brooklyn is basically moving to the country, or that Brooklynites pass the time staring wistfully across the East River to Manhattan, the worst thing in the “Girls guide to Greenpoint” is “Cafe Grumpy is real.” Sure it’s a bit high-end and lacks the charm of our own reasons to stay in Greenpoint when the G train is down, but there’s nothing to sink our teeth into and kick around a bit. This isn’t how this is supposed to work, guys. It’s supposed to be you come here in a town car, look around for five minutes and write something knowingly out of touch. Then we get angry.

If Vogue is bored with Brooklyn, we have bad news for the people of Queens: you’re probably next. Expect Jeffrey Steingarten to complain about taking the 7 train to Sunnyside, and some poor intern getting their Tumblr famous because they bitch about having to drive into Flushing to pick up food for Anna Wintour. The only thing you can do is wait out the cycle and let it pass on to the Bronx or Staten Island, like a weather system. Or you could take up arms, we guess.

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