This romantic gift doesn’t bespeak Dave’s weird cultural obsessions or millennial inside jokes. A fondue pot for two isn’t cheeky, smirky or smart assy in any way—it insists upon its cuteness, and that is all. To give someone this is to say fuck irony, fuck ’90s nostalgia, fuck that comedy show at the Bell House we missed, fuck your tattoos and mine too. Fuck it all, and possibly me too, if maybe you want to? But first, let’s get some stinky cheese and fire up this adorable little thingy! It took us so long to get that out, the $24 pot is now on back order at UncommonGoods (a Brooklyn-based mail order outfit) but get in now line for Valentine’s Day. However, know that by then you’ll have some other stupendous gift options.