Even Hillary Clinton is having trouble with this fakakte Brooklyn real estate market

Hillary learning how hard it can be to actually follow your dream and move here
Hillary learning how hard it can be to actually follow your dream and move here

If there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s that the Brooklyn and greater New York City real estate market will more likely skullfuck you and leave you for dead on the side of the road than it will provide any sort of helping hand. We do our best to help, but we’re starting to wonder if there’s help for anyone at all, because it turns out that while Hillary Clinton might be Ready for Brooklyn, her campaign is learning that finding a place to center all their plotting is harder than actually becoming president. Welcome to New York!

Capital New York had the report on how even a multi-millionare presidential candidate with a front-runner’s war chest isn’t quite sure she can afford the rent here. While earlier news had Hillary looking at Downtown Brooklyn, sources who talked to Capital said that the $40/square foot asking price might be too much for the potential leader of the free world to afford. The story is the same in DUMBO, where things are even more expensive in the old Jehovah’s Witness building ($50/square foot).

So what’s Hillary to do if she wants to stay in Brooklyn, as opposed to merely setting up in next-Brooklyn Long Island City? The same thing all you dumb kids are doing: head south to Sunset Park, where she might be able to set up in Industry City for somewhat of a bargain. Of course, that would just open up the Clinton campaign to charges of gentrifying, and while we hear that they want to get part of the sweet Brooklyn juju, we’re sure they don’t want get an angry letter from Spike Lee. Or us, if they ruined Melody Lanes.

Obviously the plight of Hillary Clinton isn’t quite the same as yours, since she’s looking for 100,000 square feet and you’re just looking for a place with a roof and maybe a front door that locks, but the message remains the same: the Brooklyn real estate beast cares for no human alive save for that one with a fat wallet and a fatter head.

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