New York chills out on the murders for almost two whole weeks

Good thing this guy isn't around, huh?
Good thing this guy isn’t around, huh?

For the last 11 days, New York has been breaking a modern record by not once brutally murdering another human being! Good work, everybody! As the Daily News reports, we are now living in one of the longest streaks of murderlessness in recent history, which means that we are only months away from the perfect future-world described in the future-documentary, Demolition Man (but for real, three shells?).

According to the News, the last recorded murder investigated by the NYPD happened on Super Bowl Sunday (understandable), and since then no murders have popped up. Of course, this could also indicate that New Yorkers are getting much better at covering up their murders, but we suppose that’s something to be proud of, too.

That being said, the thinking is going that the main reason behind this lack of MurderDeathKills appears to be the sudden cold snap. That’s right, it’s official: New York has even gotten too cold for murder. So, while freezing your ass off on your commute, before you start to complain about the weather, remember that that it might be the only thing that’s keeping you from being violently murdered.

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