‘Broad City’ episode 2: The girls get bossy and lean in

Every time I watch Broad City, I’m jealous of Abbi and Ilana’s misadventures (and Ilana’s lattice bras, I won’t sleep until I get my hands on one for myself). They make NYC their broke paradise, where they don’t need money or anything really to do, so long as they have each other (sob!).

Episode 2 “Mochalatta Chills” opens with our heroines conning their way into free movie passes at East 86th St. Cinema, where they watch an alleged Chris Rock werewolf flick Fang for a Fang and eat granola and almond milk out of ziplock bags (anybody tried this?), and Ilana pulls the Mickey Rourke dick-in-the-popcorn trick on Abbi, except with her pubes, I’m guessing. But the majority of the episode shows the girls leaning in to their respective jobs, not each other. 

Ilana’s boss Todd at Deals Deals Deals! beseeches her to actually work while he leaves for the day to identify who yelled “Nice razor scooter, pencil dick…you aborted Macklemore motherfucker…lookin’ like Albert Nobbs,” from a police lineup of girl youth suspects. So what does Ilana do? Hires four interns who make her $400, to the chagrin of her eternally-disapproving co-worker, Nicole. Ilana’s exchanges with Nicole supply some of the best lines in the episode:  “Hey Nicole, how would you describe exactly what it is we ‘do’ at this ‘company’?” and “Nic, do you ever get hair from your head stuck in your butt crack in the shower? Do you?”

Meanwhile, Bevers is really letting himself go, more than usual, and Abbi, fed up with him living on her couch, being disgusting and spilling Mochalatta Chills everywhere, yells at him to get his shit together. When she comes home the next day, he’s gone, so she dances naked throughout the apartment to Lady Gaga’s “The Edge of Glory,” which is definitely a dream of all of us in NYC suffocating with roommates—well, at least the dancing naked part, I would pick a different song for sure. When she gets to work that day, her energy and positive vibes make an impression on Trey, who appoints her to assist him in training a new client. Except! dun dun dun That new client is Bevers, who joined the gym after Abbi’s scolding inspired him to make a change in his life!

Abbi and Ilana meet for a “Haliburton fat cat lunch,” Ilana in her new “white power suit” from T.J. Maxx, high on her new lady boss status since hiring an “extremely diverse ethnic smorgasbord of unpaid interns.” Ilana convinces Abbi to really dig into her new training opportunity, despite the fact that the client is Bevers (“Rub some Purell into your mustache so you don’t smell him; grab the bull by the balls, dude.”) and Abbi suggests to Ilana that maybe she chill out with the white power references, considering she just hired a bunch of unpaid ethnic folks.

When they return to work, Abbi gives it her all with Bevers, while Ilana suffers a moral crisis and fires all the interns. Bevers ends up collapsing on the treadmill and quitting the gym, and Trey tells Abbi she’s just not suited to be a trainer.

So our girls end up right back where they started, not that we saw any need for change in the first place. The episode ends with the two doing what they do best: smoking weed and discussing the important topics in life (see last week’s discussion on why fat guys’ dicks look smaller), such as the mind-fuck that is shitting while giving birth. “If it happens to me, you have my permission to look away,” says Ilana. Abbi: “I’m gonna see you give birth?” Ilana: “Bitch. Who else would be my focal point?” Aw, best friend love.

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