Bombshell: The Mast Brothers didn’t always have beards

Good god... via Dallas Food
Good god… via Dallas Food

Brooklyn is a place for many things, but most of all it’s been seen as a borough of authenticity and honesty being found in the hearts of its residents. Marty Markowitz might have made “Oh how sweet it is!” Brooklyn’s unofficial motto when he was borough president, but he could have also slapped “Brooklyn: To thine own self be true” on the welcome signs at the borough’s entrance. So it’s with great sadness we have to report that two famous Brooklyn residents appear to have been caught in a dreadful lie that strikes at the heart of who they told us they were. According to a bombshell new report circulating on the internet, the Mast Brothers didn’t always have hilariously huge beards. What’s next, ExxonMobil really did own Mellow Pages the entire time?

The report that the beards that are currently seen on the faces of Rick and Michael Mast in publicity pictures haven’t always been there come from an anonymous blogger known only as “Scott” at DallasFoodOrg. Rather than just shout his accusations without any evidence, “Scott” dug up actual photo evidence that both Mast Brothers, who in addition to their beards are known for selling expensive chocolate, walked this Earth with cleanly shaven faces just eight short years ago.

via DallasFood
via DallasFood

The brothers haven’t released a statement regarding the authenticity of the photos circulating of the pair with totally clean shaven faces (they seem to be busy, caught up in some kind of chocolate scandal as well), but the faces do appear to match, if you look at the non-facial hair areas of each photo. If true, the allegation would blow a hole in the carefully crafted image the brothers have built themselves as authentic makers on the cutting edge. Until we learn otherwise, all beards in Brooklyn should be eyed with suspicion and anyone you come into contact with should be quizzed on what it is they’re trying to sell you.


  1. Cameron

    I wouldn’t care if they’re former bros, cosplaying hipsters, or outright frauds if they made good chocolate, but their overpriced “chalk-let” is terrible.

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