BK Top 5: The best things to do tonight, from surviving The Undertaker to hanging with babes

Wacky Wednesday, as it’s known in morning zoo-type radio shows across America, is upon us and there’s nothing you can do about it. Unless you have a time machine, although if all you’re going to do with your time machine is avoid some random Wednesday, I’d ask you to just let me use it instead because there’s much more fun to be had than that. Anyway, you don’t have a time machine, I don’t have a time machine, so why don’t we just consult the Brokelyn Events Calendar and see the best things going on tonight, huh?

WRESTLING WEDNESDAY: SURVIVOR SERIES
It’s Survivor Series season, and while this year’s edition of the WWE pay-per-view is celebrating 25 years of the legendary wrestler known as The Undertaker, you can take a trip back to the night he debuted and laid waste to his opponents as Nitehawk screens Survivor Series 1990 in their Lo-Res Bar. As always, your musical accompaniment will be courtesy of Paul Bruno, aka DJ Unblinking Ear.
9pm, Nitehawk Cinema, 136 Metropolitan Avenue, Williamsburg, FREE

HUMANS AGAINST MUSIC KARAOKE
Ever feel like karaoke is a little too easy for you? Try Humans Against Music, then, which has no electronic lyrical cues, instead forcing you to rely on reading lyrics off paper and knowing when you have to come in based on the music. Still, with 1,100 songs to choose from and the possible prize of a three-pound canned ham waiting for you, there’s gotta be some song you’d be alright looking a little silly attempting.
9pm, Freddy’s Bar, 627 5th Avenue, South Slope, FREE

CHRIS GETHARD: CAREER SUICIDE
Here’s a night that should be uh…fun? First, Chris Gethard will do a stand up set for you about bright and shiny subjects like depression, suicide and addiction. It’s not all a funny journey through downers though, he’s also got the Peanuts Movie-obsessed Joe Rumrill doing some comedy as well. Prepare for getting HYPED for the Peanuts Movie.
8pm, Union Hall, 702 Union Street, Park Slope, $8

THE BABES OF BUSHWICK 2016 LAUNCH PARTY
Gotta heat things up as it starts to get cold outside? Get some heat right in the pants tonight by hitting up the release party for hunk of the month calendar the Babes of Bushwick. Get your objectification on while flipping through the calendar full of pictures of Bushwick’s hottest dudes, and make sure you get to Heavy Woods early so that you can fuel said objectification with $1 pints from Braven Brewing Company.
8pm, Heavy Woods, 50 Wyckoff Avenue, Bushwick, FREE

STAND UP FOR BERNIE SANDERS: BERN’IN DOWN THE HOUSE
Hillary Clinton might be racking up endorsements from party leaders and bigwigs across the country, but Bernie Sanders seems to be outpacing her in the all-important stand up comedian endorsement race. Proof of that can be found in the lineup for this show being put together to support him, with performers like The Lucas Brothers, Sasheer Zamata, Michelle Wolf and Seaton Smith taking the stage to raise money for America’s most popular socialist.
7pm, The Bell House, 149 7th Street, Gowanus, $10

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