Bill de Blasio, UES public enemy No. 1, really drawing out move to Gracie Mansion

Still empty of trouble-making Brooklynites

After Bill de Blasio announced that he would be leaving Park Slope’s land of artisanal treats for the stodgy old Upper East Side, people figured that the question of whether a mayor would finally live in Gracie Mansion after over a decade would finally be settled. Whoops, guess not, because not only has de Blasio still not moved there, according to Capital New York, he’s not planning on moving there until after the school year. This is the most drawn out move undergone by a people since the Jews took forty years in the desert to get from Egypt to Israel.

Like any good father, de Blasio blamed his lousy kid, Dante, telling ABC News that the move would come after the school year so as to not disrupt Dante’s life too much. That’s a convincing cover story, but we all know what the real story is: Bill de Blasio clearly wants nothing to do with the Upper East Side. But can you really blame him? At the same time that every other neighborhood in New York City was dealing with the unceasing snow and the various problems it caused, the UES bellyached to the point where they said they were the victim of some kind of political conspiracy.

No, that’s just not very neighborly of them, and we can absolutely understand why the de Blasio’s would rather spend time in a place where people actually like them. If it were up to us, we’d advise de Blasio to just change his plans, stay in Park Slope and give Gracie Mansion over to Occupy Wall Street activists for use as a commune/people’s farm.

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