Beastanetics is back with a free trial class, so get rid of that PBR blubber

Winter is (theoretically) over, and that means that throwback jersey season will soon be here in all its armpitty glory. But this winter was goddamn cold, at least when compared to last year’s impostor weather, and we know you’ve put on a few extra layers of flubber to keep the wind from blowing away on your long walk from the G. Don’t worry, we have too. Luckily, killer McCarren Park boot camp Beastanetics will be back April 1, and they’re giving away a free class to newbies looking to drop the PBR pounds.

Run by Punk Rope founder Tim Haft and personal trainer Shana Brady, Beastanetics is a interval-training program that will give your body the tools it needs to get into shape fast. You’ll run, jump, crunch, plank, sprint and sweat, but you’ll also build strength and stamina, and help ramp up your metabolism. The six-week program is split up into 2 one-hour-long sessions a week, and it runs Mon/Wed, Tue/Thur at 6:45am, 8am or 9:15am at McCarren Park; it’s $120 for the whole program, $15 to drop-in and the first class is totally free if you’ve never tried out Beastanetics before.

And if you’re worried you’re going to be working out with a whole bunch of mammoth body-builders, well,it’s Williamsburg/Greenpoint, so pretty much everyone working out is a skinny long-haired dude in a bandana and an American Apparel tank top, looking lost as they stand in the adult jungle gym, staring sadly at the pink chin-up bar they will NEVER CONQUER. You’ll fit right in.

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