Bobo Touch is here to help. via youtube

For all their hokey two-toned subway ads and R.L. Stine-worthy PSAs, nothing the MTA has ever made has explained subway groping more effectively than this rap video about it by two Bay Ridge natives, who go by Bobo Touch.

In a mere two minutes of bass-heavy rap, ‘Subway Creeps’ covers everything from blatant masturbation to creepy subway stalkers to drive-by gropes. First it tells all the creeps to stop what they’re doing, then offers up better options for rubbing one out, and finally lets women know how they can document the incident, wrangle witnesses in the event of a trial, and seek help from nearby authority figures. It also says things like “put your peesh away” and “go to jail, I hate you,” but that’s really just icing on the cake.

Brian Bonz, 29, and Mike Rizzo, 30, make up the satirical rap duo Bobo Touch. The Village Voice did a whole interview with them, and it turns out they’ve got a lot of passion for the subject matter of ‘Subway Creeps.’ “The way we address [sexual harrassment] in our video is in-your-face, but it’s an accurate reflection of the lewd and vulgar acts women deal with every day,” says Bonz.

Rizzo adds, “We’re […] genuinely saying that subway creeps need to be called out.”

Amen to that. And since we already did our part to let you know what lurks in New York City’s underground, now you can apply these dudes’ tips for catching those creeps in (or hopefully before) the act.

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