Since quitting my museum job a month ago and starting a job at a coffee shop, my life has simplified considerably. No more getting screamed at by crowds of people in foreign languages, no more answering the same question 873 times a day, and no more hour-long peak-time commutes. The only down side: customers who require very special attention and behave badly when they don’t receive it. Trust me, we’re here for you soy macchiato drinkers; nobody sets out to be a bitchy barista. So how about you don’t do any of these things on your next coffee run?
1) Order an iced half-caf cappuccino and proceed to chat on your phone outside while I call out your dumb order over and over again for 10 minutes and then complain when you finally come back inside and your fussy drink is watery.
2) When asked what you want to eat/drink, begin to slowly read the menu out loud to yourself.
3) Ask me to turn off the music because you’re trying to have a business meeting.
4) Bring back your iced soy latte after the milk “curdles.” IT’S NOT ACTUALLY MILK! IT’S WATERY, COLD, BEAN SOUP!
5) Fail to read the sandwich menu properly and then tell me you’re allergic to cheese after said cheese has already been melted and the sandwich has been assembled.
6) Take someone else’s drink and put a ton of sugar and milk in it before realizing.
7) Tip your server with a fistful of coins.
8) Complain when your macchiato doesn’t look like the one from Starbucks.
9) Put a large lid on a small cup and then rage at me when you spill your drink down your shirt.
10) Stand at the counter when it’s busy, eyeing everyone’s food and drinks and asking when yours is going to be made because you’re in a hurry.
Did I miss anything? If you’re a food or drink server with a pet peeve, or a triple Americano drinker with a few thoughts for your local barista, lay it on us in the comments.