1. The presidential debates are tonight, and you’re probably not going to want to watch them alone — or sober. So we made you a roundup of 20 bars broadcasting the bloodsport, from Greenpoint to Bay-Ridge, many with drink specials and absurd accompanying commentary. (Monday, various venues, FREE)
2. Or perhaps you want something that’s just straight-up absurd, with not even a nod toward today’s terrifying political reality? You’re in luck: House of Yes is reprising its Ketamine: The Musical, a “psychoactive and disassociative” spectacle that is totally guaranteed to take your mind off the reality of the day. (Monday & Tuesday, House of Yes, $20 w/ Brokelyn discount at link)
3. Learn rotten lessons at Bad Advice From Bad Women, with DGAF writers including emoji scholar Estelle Tang, dog mom Leopoldine Core, feminist force of nature Nona Willis Aronowitz, and witch poet Jasmine Gibson; hosted by sugar addict Charlotte Shane. (Tuesday, Word, FREE)
4. Watch a mashup of comedy, reality, and romance at The BackFatlorette, where single male comedians Paul Julmeus, Mike Abrusci, Zach Swan, and Mike Mercadal will try to impress comedy-loving Katelyn to win a date with her at Royal Palms Shuffleboard Club. (Tuesday, 61 Local, FREE)
5. Marvel at mansplaining at It’s a Guy Thing, where comedians including Dylan Marron, Jen Spyra, Bowen Yang, and Matt Barats give lectures on a “guy thing” of their choice, in hopes of helping the hapless lady-hosts understand it. (Wednesday, Union Hall, $6)
6. Be awed by dastardly damsels at Kevin Geeks Out About Deadly Women, an evening of movie clips and commentary exploring homicidal heroines, lady vigilantes, roving girl gangs, and female assassins. (Wednesday, Nitehawk Cinema, $16)
7. Head out to space with Astronomy on Tap, celebrating International Observe the Moon Night with lectures on lunar science and culture. (Thursday, Way Station, FREE)
8. Hear from a range of artists and creators at the Title:Point SalON, featuring art by Jen Plaskowitz, photography by Walter Wlodarczyk, comedy by Mark Vigeant, film by Jamie Ruddy, and more. (Thursday, The Glove, $7–$10)
9. Get ready for a weekend full of art at the opening night of the 10th annual Bushwick Open Studios, which includes a reception for the open-call exhibition “Seeking Space” and the launch of the first-ever BOS print book: Making History Bushwick. (Friday, 56 Bogart, FREE)
10. Peep a plethora of pasties at the 14th annual New York Burlesque Festival Premiere Party, featuring a whopping 30 performers, including Kristina Nekyia, Medianoche, Theodora Rex, Haruka Deisole, and Dahlia Dangerous. (Friday, Brooklyn Bowl, $12)
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It’s A Guy Thing is on Wednesday with different people! Wah!
Thanks for catching, KM — we’ve swapped out the dates, but the performers are the same.