These two Brooklyn bars are having GOP debate-watching parties Thursday night

You asked for it, America

You asked for it, America

Whether you think it’s a mass hallucination, a divine punishment for the sins of our modern ways of life or a an elaborate version of Punk’d that Ashton Kutcher is unleashing on us, the seemingly endless 2016 Presidential race (kind of) kicks into medium-gear tomorrow night with the long-awaited Fox News Republican primary debate.

Ten Republican candidates will take the stage in Cleveland, Ohio and nine will wave their arms in an attempt to take attention away from the main reason people will be watching: wondering what Donald Trump will say or do. A nine-person and one short-fingered vulgarian debate just goes better with alcohol, so hit one of these two Brooklyn bars showing the debate tomorrow at 9pm. Be sure to drink anytime anyone says anything.

First up, Boulevard Tavern (579 Meeker Avenue, Greenpoint) will be showing the debate on their big screen. After all, what person with a few drinks in them doesn’t want to be confronted with a towering version of Ben Carson comparing a health care mandate and government subsidies to the Holocaust or have Jeb Bush lecture her broke ass on how she should work more hours. Boulevard’s event is the more inclusive of the two, inviting both liberals and conservatives for an evening of a debate that is 459 days away from the actual election next year.

Of course, you might want your debate viewing experience to be a bit more partisan, and considering this is Brooklyn, we’re going to assume that means a bit more liberal. In that case, hit Pacific Standard (82 4th Avenue, Park Slope) where the New Kings Democrats will roleplay as the New Kings Republicans and host a debate watch party in the bar’s back room. They specifically refer to the debate as a “circus,” which is fair considering it’s ten candidates arguing about things, just be aware that this is definitely an evening to laugh at the debate and not to listen and analyze it. There’s also the promise of GOP Debate Bingo, which we’d guess would involve things like marking off squares promising to crush unions, defund Planned Parenthood and Donald Trump proposing yet another literally inpossibly policy idea to Make America Great Again.