04/20/17 3:41pm

#neverenoughsauce. Photo via Chick-Fil-A

[Ed note: (Everything is vegetarian) (Everything is gluten-free except the bonus round) (The spicy cream sauce is vegan)]

Depending on the generosity of your local fast food chain, you probably have a fridge drawer full of assorted dipping sauces and condiments. My collection comes from ordering chicken nuggets on my way home from the bar, getting adventurous with the sauce choice, then forgetting entirely about the Sweet Chili while I eat my naked / unsauced nuggets in a sleepy haze. Somehow, I never remember the sauce collection the next time I have a post-bar snack; thus the collection grows.

In terms of sauce-use, I see myself as having three choices:
1) I can throw the packets away, helping destroy the planet almost as much as my nighttime nugget habit and putting (semi) good food in the garbage.
2) I can eat the sauce straight out of the packet, which is fine on occasion, but really not very filling.
3) I can take a long look at the condiments acquired and decide to make my next meal into a spring cleaning effort.

In the spirit of condiment appreciation and innovation, here’s what to do with your 67 ketchups. (more…)

03/05/15 4:55pm
Choose wisely

Choose wisely

Brooklyn duo Ex Cops faced a classic dilemma this week: should they play a free showcase sponsored by McDonald’s at South by Southwest, that annual conference in Austin where #buzz is forged in the fires of a Mount Doom-like industry volcano? Or should they turn down the exposure to dozens of fish-filet stained faces in lieu of something with no buzz factor, like artistic integrity and refusing to be part of a brand’s attempts to be a hip brand? Ex Cops turned McD’s down, and wrote an open letter explaining why they wouldn’t play for free for a company worth $90.3 billion. McDonald’s responded in with the text equivalent of finding a chicken head in your box of McNuggets. Anyway, should you find yourself in a similar dilemma, we made a quiz to help you decide what to do. (more…)

09/10/14 2:11pm

It’s not regular McDonald’s, it’s McBrunch, which is why your meal cost $15. via Flickr user Alpha

Millennials man. They (we) are just the most useless goddamn generation to certain traditional voracious sectors of global capitalism. We don’t want cars, we don’t want normal Hot Pockets, we don’t want massive amounts of credit card debt and we don’t want fast food. That last one is bad news for sub-living wage hamburger factory McDonalds, but could winning us back be as simple as branding a few McMuffins as brunch items? Probably not, but they’re still trying to trademark “McBrunch.” So maybe McDonald’s can be the new place for you to fall asleep in your food as you regret last night’s horrendous sexual choices, if that’s not the place you already do that. (more…)

03/27/13 10:40am
The miracles of modern food science. Photo by J. Kenji Lopez-Alt, via SeriousEats

The miracles of modern food science. Photo by J. Kenji Lopez-Alt, via SeriousEats

We’re trying not to be stereotypical big-city liberals here, but really, aside from the occasional drunken 4am White Castle binge, there’s nothing really that appealing about fast food to us. Especially with so many cheap bodega sandwiches to choose from. But, maybe you may find yourself in another part of the world, one without bodegas on every corner, and your only chance for a hangover-curing breakfast sandwich is a McDonald’s bacon, egg and cheese biscuit. So, SeriousEats did some food journalism and discovered something: you can replace the gross “egg loaf” on the biscuit with a real egg. (more…)

12/19/12 4:00pm

mcribThe McRib occupies a place in American urban legend somewhere above “mixing pop rocks and soda will blow you up” and “Bigfoot is real.” The sandwich’s scarcity baffles some and was the subject of an investigation that set the internet on fire by Brokelyn alum Willy Staley. McDonald’s is getting in one last McRib run just in case Friday really is the end. But if you want to eat one of these pork-like sandwiches, are you just supposed to run around hoping the McDonald’s you go into is one of the elusive “participating stores?” Well, you don’t have to do that anymore, because there’s a crowdsourced map doing the work for all us. (more…)

11/14/11 11:09am

McRib, naked.

Today is the last day the McRib will be available nationwide. Before you chomp into that sticky, pork-flavored food product, make sure to read this post by Awl star — and Brokelyn alumnus — Willy Staley, who makes the argument for the deeper economic, supply side truth behind McDonald’s on-again, off-again attempts to sell you a rib-based product that contains no rib. Willy goes deep down the rabbit hole looking at arbitrage, pork climate, hog futures and how we’re all marks playing into Ronny McD’s hype game. Even Bloomberg TV thinks he’s on to something. While you’re at it, refresh yourself on Willy’s Brokelyn greatest hits, where he broke the story about Obama Fried Chicken being too hot for MTV, price checked fixing a crappy bike and showed you how to dress with Army/Navy store style. Just don’t get McSlop on your new pea coat.