You'll shoot your eye out kid

Shoots and career ladders.

If you’re looking for a summer job, you could do a lot worse than operating a shooting gallery at the beach for a few months. We don’t have much more information besides what’s in this sign, except that the place within which to inquire is the Coney Island freak show, and the shooting gallery is this classic 1940s-era one that’s right next door. As a former boardie, I can attest that barking carnival games is a hell of a fascinating way to spend a summer. (more…)

12/31/13 9:30am
club applebees

Erry’body in the Applebee’s get tipsy

Looking for the bossest New Year’s Eve party that all your friends will be jealous you attended? Well young people who are hip and with it and love eatin’ good in the neighborhood, we’ve got great news for you: totally cool and not at all your parents’ favorite restaurant Applebee’s is turning their locations in the Times Square “lock down zone” into a New Year’s destination, with a $375 per person party. No, not $37.50, $375. (more…)

Eating good in any neighborhood in the USA.

Eating good in any neighborhood in the USA.

Hey cats, fire up the Instagrands, pop open your Fourscores and prepare to make some videotape on Vine dot com, because Coney Island will soon be bursting with “hip” spots, according to this story about the new chains coming to Coney Island. I know, finally, right?? God that place was boring before. I am going to apply for one Kickstarter to afford all this hipness. Chains such as:

Johnny Rockets
Red Mango
-Official NBA-branded merchandise store

Oh but wait, the Applebee’s has a shark tank in it, so that’s pretty cool, because you can choose the fresh food you want to eat and they make it right there. LOL no, that would be more accurate if there were a Dumpster full of microwaves with boil-in-bag frozen vegetables swimming in trash juice, their natural habitat.  (more…)

Coney Island, 2015. via Flickr user Ashlee Catherine

Coney Island, 2015. via Flickr user Ashlee Catherine

Brace yourselves, Coney Island, hurricane Rita is coming, as in Main Street ‘Rita, that vaguely booz-ish beverage you ordered off the Applebee’s menu to dull the pain when your parents wanted to go to dinner in Times Square. Amusing the Zillion reports Coney Island is set to become a strip mall chain mecca copying all the authentic local charm of your average highway rest stop, with Johnny Rockets, Checker’s, Red Mango and an (blrgghgg) Applebee’s set to open soon, with others like Outback and Hooters in developers’ sights too, a rage-inducing proposition for which no curse word yet exists, so we will invent one: This is a mediocrifuck. A blanddicking. But really? It’s the Myrtle-Beach-ification of our once-beloved beach.

Myrtle Beach, for those who are fortunate enough not to have visited, is both one of the worst beaches in America and among the worst, soul-suckingly tacky places in the country: endless chains and theme restaurants, a never-ending loop of Jimmy Buffett blaring from every chintzy t-shirt shop, 40-story high rise hotels with frat-vomit filled lazy rivers in their basements and all the originality of a Disney beach-themed ride. Coney was once the anti-Myrtle Beach; is it now officially too late to go back? (more…)