Start saving now: The Gowanus Whole Foods opens on December 17

gowanus whole foods

Come December, you’ll be able to spend your paycheck here. via Facebook

Ever since Whole Foods began construction on their giant store in Gowanus, one question has dominated the conversation about it: “How am I gonna be able to afford this shit?” “When does it open?” And now we have an answer, as Whole Foods sent out a press release announcing that the store, at 214 3rd Street, will be opening its doors to shoppers on Tuesday, December 17. Just in time for people to forget that Christmas cheer and elbow someone out of the way for the last Annie’s Mac and Cheese.

Now that you know the date, you can start saving now so as to afford a trip to the grocery store, just put that vacation off for a month or two. The store will not only have the usual Whole Foods organic and artisan products, but will also be drawing from producers all over Brooklyn to stock their products on its shelves. It will also have its own ramen shop, for eat-in and take-out options, with offerings from ramen master Yuji Hariguchi.

The roof seems like it’s going to be the main attraction though, as it will have a 20,000 square foot rooftop garden, along with a 16 tap bar on the roof, to make you soused enough to decide that yes, you will pay $15 for that jar of pickles. Just don’t get so drunk that you think you can get away with stealing the jar of pickles, there is nothing more humiliating than explaining to your new friends in the holding cell that you got blackout drunk and were caught stealing some bougie pickles.

3 Comment

  • When the closest comparable store is Union Market, it’s not as though Whole Foods is any more expensive, and it’s probably less pricy. But hey! Stale jokes.

  • Union Market is more expensive than Whole Food. At least Whole has different items on sale weekly which UM doesn’t.

  • Associated and Key Foods are on 5th Ave. I’d guess they’re much cheaper also.