NYPD crime map still no substitute for our dear departed police blotter

nypd crime map

We knew the police blotter, we served with the police blotter, and you map, are no police blotter

Earlier today we were gnashing our teeth, as we do, about the death of the police blotter and it’s myriad wonders. And like some parent trying to distract a kid from the death of their dog by buying them a new, worse dog, the NYPD has released an interactive crime map of their own. “See?” they say, “It’s just the same as the thing you used to have and loved!” Except it isn’t, because it doesn’t even give any details and WE HATE IT.

Well OK, maybe don’t completely hate it. The map, which was built at the demand of the city council, gives you very basic information on the crimes that have happened in your precinct, or even in front of your apartment, if you type in your address. But all it will do is dryly tell you “3 rapes, 4 murders, 1 felony assault” without any details. Nothing about a weird mask a perp was wearing, or the circumstances that drive two or more people together into the suspect/victim situation. Even worse, it doesn’t even give you the day the crime happened, so for all you know, you could standing there on a fresh murder scene, like some kind of asshole.

So we guess if you want to know how many crimes per population happen in your neighborhood this is a useful map. But this is no interactive crime map, and it’s certainly no substitute for our beloved police blotter. YOU’RE NOT OUR REAL FATHER, RAY KELLY!