Speaking of keeping some perspective on the season, we firmly support efforts to keep up the good fight against winter, namely by not ceding the outdoors and parklands of the borough to those jerky elements. So here is your chance to act like it’s spring time, and win some cash in the process, in an absurd sounding outdoors event called Competitive Winter Picnicking on Jan. 19. The event (which is free to join) is part party, part art project and part pot luck: competitors bring a picnic: anything unique, memorable and delicious. The rest of your spread is open to creative interpretation, and the judges will pick winners based on a whole bunch of categories. Best in show wins $39,a cake and a bottle of whiskey, and runners up can win cash too. We’re betting ants won’t be a problem.
Organizer Mark Krawczuk, the brains behind other similarly absurd projects such as the L Train Notwork and the Lost Horizons Noodle Truck, tells us the idea came about through a series of jumbled and crossed wires text messages with friends, but they decided to run with the idea anyway. The location will be a “really big Brooklyn park” revealed to those who enter (we’re just gonna guess it’s Prospect Park. And yes, they have a permit).
So, how do you win? Krawczuk says:
People should focus on having a good time while picnicking in the cold. The people who look like they are having the time of their lives, and the judges want to hang out with them? They are the ones walking away with the main awards.
After the Best In Show prize, second place gets $27.50 and a trophy, the next winner gets $27 and a blue ribbon. And there are more prizes:
We are going to have a ton of certificates for excelling at specific elements. So, there should be a lot of winning no matter how you do it, as long as you make an effort. But, some people could win multiple categories, so it is possible to leave a complete loser. (But there is a category for Most Valiant Attempt, so if you are going to fail, FAIL BIG).
A winter picnic, Krawczuk notes, has its advantages over the spring and summer varieties. Not only is it really easy to get a spot for your blanket, you don’t even have to lug a cooler along to keep things cold. And the only bugs you’ll have to worry about are the ones from the NSA.
” I mean, when your drink is frozen solid, you realize your glass REALLY is half full,” he says. “Because you are trying to fill up the other half and trying to drink out of the remaining space. Until that is full too. AND THEN YOUR GLASS IS FULL. And useless as a drinking vessel.”
Competitive Winter Picnicking is on Jan. 19, from 1-3, weather be damned. See all the details here.
Follow Tim, competitive winter party crasher: @timdonnelly.