Imagine the subway turnstile noises were fart sounds

Aside from opening a wine bar in Williamsburg that somehow isn’t named All My Friends, James Murphy’s post-LCD Soundsystem goal in life has been to get the MTA to change their turnstile sounds into musical tones. Murphy has argued with the MTA and with local bloggers about the feasbility and wisdom of his “Subway Symphony” but his dream still hasn’t become a reality. And now in worse news for Murphy, a rival plan to replace the subway turnstile beeps with farts, instead of musical notes is here, and like Murphy’s Heineken-backed plan, fart mastermind Jason Selvig has a beer company backer in Bud Light’s Straw-Ber-Rita. Gothamist talked to Selvig about his plan, which is just like Murphy’s, except fart-based, but Selvig graciously said he’d be willing to work with Murphy to make the plan a reality.

It’s a tough call, for which plan we’d back if either one were even remotely feasible. Musical notes seem pleasant and everything, but it would be great to test the theory that fart noises never stop being funny at any point.

Screenshot 2015-08-11 at 4.06.03 PM