Ho-Ho-No: SantaCon won’t be welcomed in the East Village or LES

NOPE. (via flickr user Steve Rhodes)

NOPE. (via flickr user Steve Rhodes)

The war on SantaCon 2014 — and it’s miscreant, candy cane colored soliders of holiday terrorism — rages on. We reported that this thinly veiled guise to mask a serious drinking problem and the need to relive the glory days of passing out cold on a sticky frat house floor was coming to Bushwick, and then that it definitely was not. The newest neighborhoods to fight Fireball with Fireball are the East Village and the LES, according to Eater, proving that Brooklyn isn’t the only borough with standards.

Specifically the ban comes from Community Board 3 (which spans the East Village, LES, and some of Chinatown). SantaCon has said they aren’t infiltrating the area anyway this Saturday, but just like unprotected sex, a promise isn’t the same as protection. Now businesses have legitimate reason to throw out any bearded bro-y bandits, robbing us all of Christmas spirit one vomited Jaeger bomb at a time.

To make matters more annoying (or in our case, more hilarious), Gothamist reports that SantaCon organizers are lawyering up with famed civil rights lawyer Norman Siegel. Because you know, the “right” for thousands of privileged, cis-gendered, upper middle class twenty-somethings (and tragic thirty-somethings clutching to the purse strings of their bygone youth) to get blackout drunk in the middle of the day and recklessly roam the city is a civil rights issue on par with all of the other terrible, abominable things that have been happening in this country as of late.